Competition in this pair is now closed, and the winning entry has been announced. Discussion and feedback about the competition in this language pair may now be provided by visiting the "Discussion & feedback" page for this pair. Entries may also be individually discussed by clicking the "Discuss" link next to any listed entry. Source text in French Ce que je vais raconter de ma première nuit de New York fera sourire les Américains;
aussi bien est-ce dans ce but que je l'écris. Dans un livre du merveilleux Rudyard Kipling,
je me rappelle avoir lu les épouvantes du sauvage Mowgli la première fois qu'il coucha
dans une cabane close: l'impression de sentir un toit au-dessus de sa tête lui devint bientôt
si intolérable, qu'il fut obligé d'aller s'étendre dehors à la belle étoile. Eh bien! J'ai presque
subi cette nuit une petite angoisse analogue, et c'étaient les gratte-ciel, c'étaient les grandes
lettres réclames au-dessus de moi, c'étaient les grands tonneaux rouges montés sur leurs
échasses de fonte; trop de choses en l'air, vraiment, pas assez de calme là-haut. Et puis, ces
six millions d'êtres humains tassés alentour, ce foisonnement de monde, cette superposition à
outrance oppressaient mon sommeil. Oh! Les gratte-ciel, déformés et allongés en rêve! Un en
particulier (celui du trust des caoutchoucs, si je ne m'abuse), un qui surgit là très proche, un
tout en marbre qui doit être d'un poids à faire frémir! Il m'écrasait comme une surcharge, et
parfois quelque hallucination me le montrait incliné et croulant...
C'est dimanche aujourd'hui; le matin se lève dans une brume lourde et moite; il fera une
des chaudes journées de cette saison automnale qu'on appelle ici «l'été indien». Sur New
York pèse la torpeur des dimanches anglais et, dans les avenues, les voitures électriques
ont consenti une trêve d'agitation. Rien à faire, les théâtres chôment et demain seulement je
pourrai commencer à suivre les répétitions du drame qui m'a amené en Amérique. Mais dans
le voisinage, tout près, il y a Central Park, que j'aperçois par ma fenêtre, avec ses arbres déjà
effeuillés; j'irai donc là, chercher un peu d'air et de paix. | The winning entry has been announced in this pair.There were 56 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase, 4 of which were selected by peers to advance to the finals round. The winning entry was determined based on finals round voting by peers.
Competition in this pair is now closed. | The account of my first night in New York will make Americans smile; in fact that is why I am writing about it. I remember reading in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling about how terrified the wild child Mowgli was the first time he tried to sleep inside a closed hut: the feeling of having a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he had to get outside and sleep under the stars. Well, that night I experienced similar anxiety! For me it was the skyscrapers, the huge advertising letters above me, the big red barrels balanced on iron legs; too many things up there in the air, not enough tranquillity. And then there were the six million people all crowded together; this tumult, this layer upon layer of humanity troubled my sleep. Oh, the skyscrapers stretched and distorted in my dreams! There was one in particular (belonging to the rubber corporation, if I'm not mistaken) which reared up right in front of me, a giant in marble so enormously heavy I trembled with fear. It was weighing on me, crushing me, and I had a vision of it leaning over, collapsing... It is Sunday today; the morning emerges in a heavy, sultry fog; it is going to be one of those warm autumnal days in this season known here as the “Indian summer". The torpor of an English Sunday hangs over New York and, in the streets, the electric cars have agreed a truce from the usual hustle and bustle. There is nothing to be done; the theatres are idle, and only tomorrow will I be able to begin rehearsals for the play which has brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, very close by, is Central Park, which I can see from my window, with its trees already stripped of leaves; I will go there then, to seek a little peace and fresh air.
| Entry #12638 — Discuss 1
Winner Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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108 | 23 x4 | 5 x2 | 6 x1 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 4.08 | 4.33 (6 ratings) | 3.83 (6 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 10 "like" tags
- 8 users agreed with "likes" (10 total agrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
unbearable | Good term selection | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
under the stars | Good term selection | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 this tumult, this layer upon layer of humanity | Flows well reads really well; nice solution for a difficult part | Sheila Wilson | |
+1 this tumult, this layer upon layer of humanity troubled my sleep | Flows well | SafeTex | |
stretched and distorted | Flows well | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
+5 2 reared up right in front of me | Good term selection "reared up" is the stuff of troubled dreams | Rob Fernley | |
+3 a truce from the usual hustle and bustle | Good term selection An excellent translation of a section which generally caused problems.Well done! | Rob Fernley | |
stripped of leaves | Good term selection Though perhaps a bit too violent? | Denise Dewey-Muno No agrees/disagrees | |
- 8 users entered 9 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
; | Punctuation too many semi-colons and colons | Jane Proctor (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 closed | Omission "a closed hut" as opposed to an "open"one? To convey both inside and closed we need something to combine the two like e.g. "to sleep behind the closed doors of a hut"ors of | Rob Fernley | |
legs | Other I went for 'stilts' as the best choice here | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors "the" suggests that this is one of the standard seasons. | Victoria Britten | |
-2 +1 2 English Sunda | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
a truce from | Syntax A truce is agreed **with** an enemy and provides a **respite** from the battle/struggle. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations reads as though there is no solution to the problem, rather than simply nothing to do | Sheila Wilson | |
only tomorrow will I be able to begin | Syntax a little clumsy | Jane Proctor (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Americans will smile at what I'm about to tell of my first night in New York; or at least that's my intention in writing this. In a book by the remarkable Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading of Mowgli, the feral child, and his torments the first time he slept confined in a hut: the mere sense of a roof above his head soon became so intolerable to him, he felt compelled to go outside and stretch out beneath the open skies. Well! Last night, I was subjected to a somewhat similar angst, what with the skyscrapers, with the large-lettered advertisements above me, with the huge red water towers mounted on their cast iron stilts; far too many things on the skyline, not enough stillness up there. And then some six million human beings crammed in around me, this sheer magnitude of people, this shroud of exorbitance plaguing my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, distorting and expanding in my dreams! One in particular (the U.S. Rubber Company Building, if I'm not mistaken), looming so closely overhead, completely constructed in marble, making one shudder to think of its weight! Like a deluge, it overpowered me, and at times I had visions of it tilting and crumbling down... It is Sunday today; the morning dawns in a leaden, sultry fog; it will be one of those hot autumnal days, referred to here as "Indian summers". The languor of a typically English Sunday weighs heavily on New York, and on its avenues the ordinarily restless electric cars have agreed a temporary truce. The theatres lie idle, I have nothing to do, and only from tomorrow will I be able to start rehearsals for the drama that has led me here to America. But in this neighbourhood, very close by, stands Central Park, where I can see from my window that its trees have already shed their leaves; so I will go there, and seek out some fresh air and tranquillity.
| Entry #13615 — Discuss 0
Finalist Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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73 | 10 x4 | 14 x2 | 5 x1 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 4.07 | 4.25 (8 ratings) | 3.88 (8 ratings) |
- 6 users entered 15 "like" tags
- 10 users agreed with "likes" (16 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
+3 Americans will smile at | Flows well sounds much better turned around like this | Lori Cirefice | |
+2 Americans will smile at what I'm about to tell of my first night in New York; or at least that's my intention in writing this. | Flows well Word order change works well | SafeTex | |
-1 +4 3 confined | Good term selection This nicely conveys what Mowgli felt i.e. restricted, almost imprisoned | Rob Fernley | |
| Good term selection A good insertion here; better than " it was the..." | Rob Fernley | |
stilts | Flows well 'stilts' is great and adds 'height' to the picture | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
shroud of | Good term selection While perhaps not totally accurate it makes sense and is stylish! | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
plaguing | Good term selection nice verb | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
looming | Flows well nice translation of 'surgir' | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
crumbling | Good term selection | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection More evocative than "heavy". | philgoddard | |
leaden | Good term selection | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
languor | Good term selection I personally liked this choice of vocab | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
the ordinarily restless electric cars have agreed a temporary truce | Other An inventive way of rephrasing this part of the sentence. | Victoria Britten No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 ve agreed a temporary truce | Good term selection "Ordinarily restless" and "agreed a temporary truce" together combine to give the best rendition of this section I have yet seen.Excellent! | Rob Fernley | |
fresh | Flows well the addition of this word makes it much more natural | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 18 "dislike" tags
- 10 users agreed with "dislikes" (22 total agrees)
- 10 users disagreed with "dislikes" (16 total disagrees)
-2 +1 1 stretch out | Spelling I suspect he just 'laid down' rather than actually stretch | SafeTex | |
open skies | Spelling It is night so why not 'under the stars'? | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
-4 +1 5 angst | Spelling Angst in English carries dreadfully serious overtones that don't quite fit the joke involved in comparing oneself to Mowgli. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
-1 +1 1 large-lettered advertisements | Mistranslations These were probably neon signs. The translation is ponderous. | B D Finch | |
-1 +4 2 shroud of exorbitance | Other This phrase sounds nice, but does not really convey much. | Joy Lewis | |
| Punctuation French, rather than English punctuation. | B D Finch | |
-1 1 distorting and expanding | Spelling I don't like the 'ing' for the past participle in French | SafeTex | |
| Mistranslations I got the idea they were becoming tall and skinny rather than expanding | Sheila Wilson | |
overpowered | Spelling overwhelmed me! | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
languor | Other There is a difference between "languor" and "torpor". The former can be pleasant relaxation, while the latter is sluggish and oppressive. | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 +1 3 English Sunday | Spelling Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-1 1 agreed | Other one usually "calls" a truce - or "agrees TO" one, at a pinch | Victoria Britten | |
+1 only from tomorrow will I be able to | Syntax Very awkward sentence construction. | B D Finch | |
start | Other I don't think you want 'from' + 'start' together | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations I don't know if it's a rule, but a park lies and a building stands, IMO | Sheila Wilson | |
stands | Spelling For a statue yes but a park? | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I am about to relate of my first night in New York will make Americans smile; indeed that is why I am writing it. I remember reading in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling about the fears experienced by the feral child Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed cabin: the feeling of a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he had to go outside and lie down in the open air. Well, tonight I suffered a very similar feeling of alarm, but it was caused by the skyscrapers, the huge letters of the advertisements above me, the big red barrels on their cast-iron stilts; there were really too many things up there in the air and not enough quietness. And then there were these six million human beings packed in around me, this abundance of people, this multitude of layers smothering me and preventing me from sleeping. Oh, those skyscrapers lying flat and deformed in my dreams! One in particular (it belonged to the rubber corporation, if I am not mistaken) rose very near; it was made of marble and must have been terrifyingly heavy! I felt crushed by it, as if by a great load, and sometimes it appeared in my dreams, tilted and crumbling. Today is Sunday; dawn is breaking in a heavy damp mist; it’s going to be one of those hot autumn days known here as an “Indian summer”. The drowsiness of an English Sunday hangs over New York and the hustle and bustle of electric cars in the avenues has ceased. There’s nothing to be done, the theatres are closed and I will have to wait until tomorrow to start following rehearsals for the play which has brought me to America. But close by in the neighbourhood is Central Park, I can see it from my window, its trees already leafless and bare; I will go there in search of a little fresh air and peace.
| Entry #12916 — Discuss 0
Finalist Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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51 | 8 x4 | 7 x2 | 5 x1 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 4.00 | 3.83 (6 ratings) | 4.17 (6 ratings) |
- 6 users entered 7 "like" tags
- 8 users agreed with "likes" (11 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
-1 1 the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) | |
feral child | Good term selection | B D Finch No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 Well, tonight I suffered a very similar feeling of alarm | Flows well Sounds very natural, though it is missing the "presque" | Sheila Wilson | |
-1 +2 1 terrifyingly heavy | Good term selection | Joy Lewis | |
hustle and bustle | Good term selection | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 13 "dislike" tags
- 7 users agreed with "dislikes" (15 total agrees)
- 7 users disagreed with "dislikes" (15 total disagrees)
-3 2 ; | Punctuation too many colons throughout the text | Jane Proctor (X) | |
| Other Banal and loses the nuance of "à la belle étoile". "Under the stars" would have been better. | B D Finch | |
| Grammar errors prefer "quiet" to "quietness" | Jane Proctor (X) | |
-2 +4 2 lying | Mistranslations the dreamer is lying, but surely the skyscrapers are standing, no? | Sheila Wilson | |
| Other The source image is of a skyscraper that has fallen down and that is not captured here. | B D Finch | |
-3 +1 2 heavy damp mist; | Mistranslations the idea is that it is hot and humid, and I think this translation conveys an image of autumn or winter rather than summer | lundy | |
-2 +1 2 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
ceased | Mistranslations "trêve", so some idea of this being temporary is required | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
ceased. | Omission Misses the point that everything will start up again on Monday | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 There’s nothing to be done | Mistranslations Reads as though there was a problem which couldn't be solved | Jane Proctor (X) | |
+3 1 following rehearsals | Mistranslations do we "follow" rehearsals? Prefer "attending" or omit | Jane Proctor (X) | |
-3 +1 3 leafless and bare; | Mistranslations Don't they mean the same, in the context of a tree? | Sheila Wilson | |
| Any American would smile at the tale of my first night in New York City --which is why I’m writing it down. I once read in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling about the terrors the wild boy Mowgli felt the first time he ever slept in a hut. The sensation of a roof over his head soon became so impossible to bear that he had to go lie down outdoors. Well, this night was nearly as nerve-wracking for me, what with the skyscrapers, the huge billboard overhead, the great red roof tanks on their iron stilts. Too much, perched too high, and all so restless. Plus, those six million human beings stacked all around me -- that thronging, that cramming to the utmost -- stifled me in my sleep. And the skyscrapers that stretched and twisted in my dreams! One in particular rose nearby, the Rubber Trust Building if I'm not mistaken, built entirely of marble and terrifyingly heavy. It would crush me like an overbearing load on my chest, and at other times seemed to my hallucinated eyes to lean over and crumble to the ground. Today is Sunday. The morning sun is trapped in clammy fog. It will be one of those warm autumn days they call Indian Summer here. New York is freighted with the inertia of an English Sunday, and down on the avenues the trolleys have momentarily ceased their constant to and fro. There is not a thing for me to do: the theatres are dark and not till tomorrow can I sit in on the rehearsals of the play that has brought me to America. But just outside my door lies Central Park, which I can see from my window, its trees now leafless. So I shall walk over there, in search of some fresh air and quiet. | Entry #13153 — Discuss 0
Finalist Voting points | 1st | 2nd | 3rd |
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47 | 8 x4 | 3 x2 | 9 x1 |
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 4.00 | 3.86 (7 ratings) | 4.14 (7 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 14 "like" tags
- 8 users agreed with "likes" (13 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (4 total disagrees)
+3 Any American would smile | Flows well Good idea to turn it round. | philgoddard | |
-1 1 the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) | |
the wild boy Mowgli | Flows well | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
| Flows well A well-thought out addition to the source text | Rob Fernley | |
stilts | Good term selection | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 Too much, perched too high, and all so restless | Flows well This is a beautiful rendering of "trop de choses en l'air, vraiment, pas assez de calme là-haut." | philgoddard | |
to my hallucinated eyes | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 The morning sun is trapped in clammy fog | Good term selection Taking liberties with the French, and it works. | philgoddard | |
-1 1 freighted | Good term selection This is a really good choice of words. | philgoddard | |
the | Other Trolleys are electric, so you can leave this word out. | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection This is the term used in theaterland for "closed". | philgoddard | |
-1 1 sit in on the reh | Good term selection It says "suivre", so "sit in on" is a good translation. | philgoddard | |
- 7 users entered 17 "dislike" tags
- 10 users agreed with "dislikes" (24 total agrees)
- 9 users disagreed with "dislikes" (14 total disagrees)
-4 +3 3 so | Spelling "Impossible" cannot be qualified with "so": there are no degrees of impossibility | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 go lie down outdoors | Other go outside to lie down (but perhaps cos I'm British?) | SafeTex | |
| Mistranslations More likely to mean neon signs than a billboard. | B D Finch | |
-3 +1 2 cramming to the utmost | Spelling Doesn't mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
| Syntax A load cannot be "overbearing". You can have an "excess load", an "unbearable load", an "intolerable load" ... . People are "overbearing". | B D Finch | |
-1 1 o my hallucinated eye | Grammar errors | Joy Lewis | |
-1 +2 1 S | Spelling Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud | |
+1 1 New York is freighted with the inertia of an English Sunday | Other Does not flow well. | Joy Lewis | |
| Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
momentarily ceased | Omission Omission of the idea of 'truce' which I think can be kept | SafeTex No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 not till tomorrow can I | Spelling Ponderous! | B D Finch | |
+3 sit in on the rehearsals | Mistranslations This suggests that the author played a passive role in rehearsals, whereas my understanding is that he took part in them | Sarah Bessioud | |
| Non-finalist entries The following entries were not selected by peers to advance to finals-round voting. What I am about to tell you about my first night in New York will make any American smile, which is partly why I am writing about it. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I recall having read about the terror felt by the wild Mowgli the first time he slept in a hut. The feeling of a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he was compelled to go and lie outside under the stars. Well, I almost felt the very same anguish last night, and it was all because of the sky-scrapers, the huge advertising lettering overhead, the great big water tanks on their cast iron stilts. There truly are too many objects up in the sky here; there just isn't enough empty space up there. On top of that, the six million other humans crammed in around me, the sheer proliferation of people; they all tormented my sleep. Those skyscrapers, how they were deformed and grew taller in my dreams! One of them in particular (the rubber trust building, if I remember rightly) that looms overhead and is made entirely of marble; it must be so heavy it makes you tremble just thinking of it. I felt it crushing me like a leaden weight, and in some of my dreams it appeared to be leaning over, collapsing... Today is Sunday and the morning is breaking to an oppressive, muggy haze. It will turn into one of those warm autumn days that people here refer to as an "Indian summer". The drowsiness of a Sunday in England hangs over New York and, in the Avenues, the electric streetcars have let up their activity. There is nothing to do, the theatres stand idle and only tomorrow will I be able to begin watching the rehearsals of the production that has brought me to America. Yet close by in this neighbourhood lies Central Park; I can see it from my window, with its trees, their leaves already out. I shall go there, to find some fresh air and some peace and quiet. | Entry #13178 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.88 | 4.00 (4 ratings) | 3.75 (4 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
+2 sheer proliferation of people | Flows well Nicely phrased | Rob Fernley | |
+1 an oppressive, muggy haze | Good term selection This is an uncannily accurate description of that time of year in New York. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
- 6 users entered 8 "dislike" tags
- 1 user agreed with "dislikes" (1 total agree)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
sky-scrapers | Spelling One word. | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
great big water tanks on their cast iron stilts | Omission Omission of "red". | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
enough empty space up | Mistranslations Doesn't convey the idea of tranquility | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
skyscrapers | Inconsistencies sky-scrapers and skyscrapers both used | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 watching | Spelling Not watching, but actively attending. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+1 1 their leaves already out | Spelling Leaves come out in the spring. However, Indian Summer is a hot spell in the Fall. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
| The tale I am going to tell of my first night in New York will make Americans smile; it is also with this aim that I write of it. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading of the terror suffered by feral child, Mowgli, the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: the sensation of having a roof over his head soon became so utterly unbearable to him that he was forced to go stretch out beneath the stars. Indeed, I was gripped with an almost identical fear that night, and it was the skyscrapers, the mighty advertising billboards above me, the vast red barrels atop their cast iron stilts; too much in the air, really, and not enough peace and quiet up there. And then the six million human beings packed into the surrounding area, that mass of humans, that layering of beings oppressed my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, deformed and distorted in my dreams! One in particular (home to the rubber trust, if I’m not mistaken), one that looms there – very close, one made entirely of marble that must weigh a frightful amount! It would crush me like a ton of bricks, and sometimes I see it in a hallucination tilted and crumbling ... It’s Sunday today. Dawn breaks in a heavy, clammy haze. It’s going to be one of the hot days of this autumn season that we call the “Indian summer” here. The lethargy of English Sundays hangs over New York, and in the avenues, the electric cars have conceded to a brief pause in their hustle and bustle. Nothing to do, the theatres are closed and only tomorrow will I be able to begin following the rehearsals of the drama that brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, just close by, I can see Central Park from my window, with its trees that have already shed their leaves. So, I shall go there and seek a little fresh air and tranquillity. | Entry #13733 — Discuss 1
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.87 | 3.82 (11 ratings) | 3.91 (11 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 4 users agreed with "likes" (10 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
-2 1 feral | Flows well Better than "wild Mowgli" | Rob Fernley | |
+1 1 weigh a frightful amount | Good term selection sounds very natural | Sheila Wilson | |
-1 +3 2 like a ton of bricks | Flows well A good rerndering of a difficult image! | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 clammy | Good term selection nice choice: clammy or muggy | Sheila Wilson | |
+3 1 brief pause in their hustle and bustl | Flows well an excellent rendering of the "ceasefire" image! | Rob Fernley | |
- 4 users entered 6 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 6 users disagreed with "dislikes" (8 total disagrees)
-1 1 by feral | Grammar errors definite article (the) needed | Sheila Wilson | |
-1 +3 1 layering of beings | Mistranslations Sounds like a literal translation | Rob Fernley | |
deformed and distorted | Omission "allongés" isn't really covered by these adjectives | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +2 2 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| The story I have to tell about my first night in New York will amuse Americans, and that's why I'm writing it. I remember Rudyard Kipling, in one of his great stories, recounting the horrors Mowgli experienced the first time he slept inside a hut: for this feral child, the feeling of having a roof over his head quickly became unbearable, to the point where he was forced to go outside and sleep under the stars. Well, my night was neither very different nor much less harrowing: full of skyscrapers with giant neon signs way up high, big red hydrants on their iron pillars, definitely too much going on and not quiet enough for me up there. Then there were the six million fellow beings packed in around me, this proliferation of people, crazily stacked one upon another, disturbing my sleep. Oh my! Nightmares full of deformed, stretched-skinny skyscrapers! There was one in particular (the U.S. Rubber Company building, I think it was), the one that loomed in my face, a marble one that made me shudder to think how much it weighed! That enormous weight seemed to be stifling me and my dreams were peppered with visions of it tilting and collapsing… Today is Sunday and the day has dawned under a damp and heavy mist; it's going to be one of those warm autumn days that locals call an "Indian summer". The languor of an English Sunday is blanketing New York and even the electric cars are taking a break from rushing to and fro. There's nothing to do: the theatres are closed so rehearsals of the play that brought me to America will have to wait until tomorrow. But Central Park is close by; in fact I can see a few of its already leafless trees from my window, so that's where I'll head for a little peace and fresh air.
| Entry #12980 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.86 | 4.14 (7 ratings) | 3.57 (7 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (1 total agree)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
inside a hut | Good term selection Don't need to say "enclosed" or "confined". | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 peppered with visions | Flows well Excellent choice of expression | Rob Fernley | |
- 5 users entered 8 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (4 total agrees)
- 4 users disagreed with "dislikes" (7 total disagrees)
+1 1 neon signs | | Allison Wright (X) | |
+1 1 big red hydrants on their iron pillars, | | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 fellow | Mistranslations wrong word here for beings/humans/people | Yvonne Gallagher | |
-1 +1 2 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-3 3 electr | Spelling Electric cars would be an anachronism in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 leafless | Mistranslations trees beginning to lose their leaves not leafless | Yvonne Gallagher | |
| The story of my first night in New York will make Americans smile, as well as being my reason for writing this. In a wonderful book by Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the terrors of the feral child Mowgli, the first time he slept in a grass hut: the feeling of a roof above his head soon became so unbearable that he was forced to lie outside, beneath the stars. Well, that night I almost suffered a similar kind of anxiety myself - all those skyscrapers, the enormous advertising slogans towering above me, and the large, red water tanks mounted on iron stilts; too many things in the sky, definitely not enough peace and quiet up there. And then the six million people surrounding me, packed in like sardines. This proliferation of people, this excessive layering, one on top of the other, troubled my sleep. Oh, how the skyscrapers became twisted and elongated in my dreams! One in particular, looming close by, (the U.S. Rubber Company Building, I believe), its crushing heaviness, all in marble, bore down on me like a juggernaut and sometimes came to me in hallucinations, tilting and crumbling... It's Sunday today. The day dawns in a heavy, clammy mist. It’s going to be one of those sweltering fall days they call “Indian summer” here. The torpor of an English Sunday hangs over New York. Electric automobiles have called an uneasy truce in the streets and avenues. There’s nothing to do, the theaters are idle and only tomorrow can I continue to replay the drama that brought me to America. But nearby in the neighborhood is Central Park, which I can glimpse through my window, with its already leafless trees. So, I will go there for a little fresh air and some peace.
| Entry #12758 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.75 | 3.83 (6 ratings) | 3.67 (6 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 2 "like" tags
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
acked in like sardines | Good term selection A good simile here. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 called an uneasy truce | Good term selection Not totally accurate ("uneasy" suggests there are some renegades about, and there may be; but it still a good phrase!) but | Rob Fernley | |
- 3 users entered 6 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (5 total disagrees)
-1 +1 1 a grass hut | Omission "Grass" does not appear in the source text; but the omission i.e. the "enclosed" bit is important: so " behind the closed doors of a hut" e.g. is needed | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 2 excessive layering | Mistranslations "Excessive layering" is meaningless | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 2 heaviness, | Mistranslations "crushing heaviness" doesn't sound English | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 2 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-1 +1 1 automobiles | Spelling Based on the apparent time period, these must be streetcars rather than automobiles. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
| Mistranslations Replay is not a synonym for rehearse. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
| What I'm about to say about my first New York night will bring a smile to American faces; that's quite possibly the reason why I'm writing it. I can remember reading in a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling of the tribulations of the wild boy Mowgli when he went to bed indoors for the first time, in a hut; the impression of feeling a roof over his head soon became too much for him to bear so he felt compelled to lie down outside in the open. Well! Last night I almost had a similarly traumatic experience, and it was the skyscrapers, the big lettering of the advertisements, it was the big red barrels mounted on their cast-iron stilts; too many things in the air, really, not enough tranquility up there. And then to be hemmed in on all sides by six million human beings, this profusion of people, everything superimposed on my imagination to such a degree that it disturbed my sleep. Oh! What dreams of grotesque skyscrapers, all out of perspective! One, in particular, (the US Rubber Company Building if I'm not mistaken) looms large nearby; made completely of marble its mass alone would frighten the life out of you. I was being crushed under its crippling weight and, now and then, I would see a vision of it, tilting, crumbling.... Today is Sunday; day is breaking under a damp, heavy mist; it will be one of those warm autumn days they call an "Indian summer" over here. The somnolence of Sundays in England is weighing heavily over New York, and along the avenues the automobiles have agreed to a temporary cessation of hostilities. Nothing to do; the theatres are lying idle and I'll not be able to begin attending the rehearsals of the play which brought me to America until tomorrow. But in the neighbourhood there's nearby Central Park which I can pick out from my window, with its trees already bare; that's where I'm off to, then, to get some air and a little peace. | Entry #12782 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.75 | 4.00 (8 ratings) | 3.50 (8 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (5 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Flows well Great word! | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 US Rubber Company Building | Other Although you have correctly identified the building, the writer is being offhand/vague about the name on purpose. The target text needs to be equally vague. | Allison Wright (X) | |
it, tilting, crumbling | Flows well Clever use of punctuation. | Denise Dewey-Muno No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 5 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (4 total disagrees)
superimposed on my imagination | Mistranslations 'a outrance' does not mean 'on my imagination'.. | Marie-Helene Dubois No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 Sundays in England | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-1 +2 2 automobiles | Mistranslations The French is "voitures electriques". My sense is that the source text derives from the early 20th century, in which case these would have been electric streetcars. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
-1 +2 1 temporary cessation of hostilities | Mistranslations What hostilities? Were drivers at war? Translation of ‘trève’ too literal; true meaning of source text not conveyed. | Joy Lewis | |
| The story that I am about to tell you, the story of my first night in New York City, will seem funny to Americans; that’s part of my reason for writing it. I remember reading a book by the great Rudyard Kipling, in which he describes the horror that the feral child Mowgli feels the first time that he goes to bed inside a hut. The feeling of having a roof over his head quickly becomes so unbearable that he goes outside to sleep under the stars. I know the feeling—that first night in New York, I felt that same kind of distress, with skyscrapers, neon signs and huge red water tanks on iron stands looming above me. There were just too many things crowding the sky and not enough calm or quiet. Not to mention the six million people teeming throughout the city like a sea of humanity; all of these images stacked one upon the other haunted me even in my sleep. My dreams were filled with skyscrapers: deformed and larger than life. One of them in particular (if I remember correctly, the rubber company building); it surged from the ground right near me, and it was made all of marble. Its weight was terrifying. It crushed me like an ant, and sometimes I imagine that I can see it toppled over and crumbling. Today is Sunday and the day is breaking in a heavy, humid haze. New Yorkers call these hot autumn days “Indian Summer.” The sleepiness of an English Sunday weighs over the city, and the electric trams have briefly stopped their screeching. There is nothing to do. The theaters are closed, and I must wait until tomorrow to start rehearsing the drama that brought me to America. But in this neighborhood, right nearby, is Central Park. I can see it from my window and the leaves are already on the trees. So I will go there, to get some air and find some peace.
| Entry #13855 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.64 | 3.78 (9 ratings) | 3.50 (8 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 7 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
great | Good term selection better than fantastic etc for a person | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Flows well Spot on. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
-1 +1 2 I felt that same kind of distress | Flows well Nicely done. Less awkward than some alternatives (including mine). | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
Not to mention | Good term selection A good addition to the atmosphere! | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
haunted me even in my sleep | Good term selection "haunt" does a really good job! | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
New Yorkers | Flows well Nice solution | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
trams | Good term selection Though "streetcars" would be more in line with the times. | Denise Dewey-Muno No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 6 "dislike" tags
- 8 users agreed with "dislikes" (16 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
| Mistranslations This is not what the original text said. | Sarah Bessioud | |
| Mistranslations The first wrong note: "surgir" rarely,if ever, means "surge" ; "looms" works fine | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 1 English Sunda | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| What I am about to recount of my first night in New York will make Americans smile, and this is indeed my intention in writing about it. I remember reading in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling about the native Mowgli’s dismay the first time he spent the night in a confined hut. The sensation of feeling the roof right over his head soon became so intolerable that he was forced to go outside and stretch out under the stars. Well, on this night I nearly suffered through a similar little agony. It was the skyscrapers, the large billboards, and the great red water tanks up on their cast-iron stilts. There were too many things in the air, really, and not enough calm up there. What’s more, the six million human beings packed in everywhere, the swarm of people and the extreme density interfered with my sleep. The skyscrapers were so deformed and distorted in my dreams! One in particular (the Rubber Trust, if I’m not mistaken), which looms nearby, is all marble and weighs enough to cause a tremor! It crushed me like a ton of bricks and appeared to me at times slanted and crumbling. It is Sunday today. Morning breaks in a heavy damp fog. It will be one of those hot days at this time of autumn they call “Indian summer” here. The languor of English Sundays weighs on New York, and the electric streetcars have agreed to a truce in the commotion. I have nothing to do. The theatres are closed for the day, and only tomorrow will I be able to begin following the rehearsals of the play that brought me to America. But from my window I can see nearby Central Park, with its trees already bare. I will go there to find a little air and peace.
| Entry #13408 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.60 | 3.80 (5 ratings) | 3.40 (5 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 7 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (6 total agrees)
this is indeed my intention in writing about it | Flows well | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "wonderful". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
interfered with | Good term selection much better verb choice than many | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
tremor | Good term selection A good choice! | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection Conveys the feeling well. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+2 a truce in the commotion | Good term selection A nice expression! | Rob Fernley | |
- 3 users entered 8 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (8 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
| Mistranslations Mowgli was a "native" i.e. born in India however that word does not convey "sauvage" i.e. wild/feral | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "Dismay" is too weak for "epouvantes" | Rob Fernley | |
+1 1 confined | Mistranslations "Confined to a hut" wouldn't be bad but "in a confined hut" doesn't mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations It is the "a" preceding "similar little agony" which is wrong; "a similar degree of agony" would work, however | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 extreme density | Mistranslations "the extreme density" of what? It's too ambiguous on its own | Rob Fernley | |
fog | Mistranslations the 'brume' would have been more of a mist/haze than fog | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
But | Omission Neighborhood omitted. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I am about to relate concerning my first night in New York will make Americans smile; that is, in fact, my goal in writing it. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about jungle-boy Mowgli's terror the first time he went to bed in a closed hut. The feeling of having a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he had to get out and lie down under the stars. Well, I almost suffered just such an anxious moment that first night. With the skyscrapers, the oversized lettering of the advertisements above me and the large red tanks on their cast-iron stilts, there were just too many things up there in the air, and not at all enough peace and tranquility. And then the six million human beings – a multitude crammed in all around and stacked outrageously high – oppressed me in my sleep. Those skyscrapers! Deformed and elongated as in a dream! One in particular (belonging to the rubber corporation, if I'm not mistaken), one towering just nearby, one made out of marble and weighing some terrifying weight – it crushed me like an overwhelming burden. Sometimes, hallucinating, I saw it leaning over, falling… Today is Sunday. The morning sun rises in a dense, damp fog; it's going to be one of the hot days of an autumn season they call here an "Indian summer". The torpor of an English Sunday hangs heavily over New York, and, in the avenues, the electric cars have granted respite from their comings and goings. There is nothing for me to do; the theatres are closed and only tomorrow will I be able to start following the rehearsals of the drama which has brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, very close by, there is Central Park. I can see it through my window, with its trees already bare. That's where I'll go then, to find some space, and peace.
| Entry #13264 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.59 | 4.00 (6 ratings) | 3.17 (6 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 4 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 respite from their comings and goings | Flows well Excellent! One of the few translations of this to convey the French in real English | Rob Fernley | |
There is nothing for me to do | Flows well | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 7 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (5 total disagrees)
-1 +2 2 momen | Mistranslations Neither Mowgli's horrors nor the narrator's nightmares were momentary | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations They ARE in a dream; in reality they're normal | Sheila Wilson | |
-1 +1 1 one | Mistranslations repetition of "one" implies this is a different one | Sheila Wilson | |
English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 2 electric | Mistranslations No electric cars in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
| What I am about to tell you of my first night in New York will make Americans smile; that is also why I am writing it. I remember reading in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling about the terror that the wild boy Mowgli felt the first time he slept inside a hut: the sensation of having a roof over his head quickly became so unbearable that he had to go and lie down outside in the open. Why, the anxiety I felt that night was almost the same! It was the skyscrapers, the huge lettering of the advertising overhead, the enormous red tanks on their iron mounts: too many things up above, it just lacked a sense of calm. And then there were the six million human beings crammed in around me, this plethora of people: this overwhelming feeling of excess troubled my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, which were all stretched out and deformed in my dreams! One in particular (the Rubber Trust building, if I recall rightly), another that was very close by, and one built of marble that must have been staggeringly heavy! It bore down on me like a crushing weight, and sometimes it appeared to me in a kind of hallucination, all leaning over and collapsing… Today is Sunday. Dawn broke shrouded in a heavy, humid mist: it is going to be one of those warm days of the season known here as an “Indian summer”. The torpor of an English Sunday hangs over New York, and in the avenues the electric streetcars have agreed to a truce. There is nothing to be done, the theatres are idle and only tomorrow will I be able to begin attending the rehearsals of the play that brought me to America. But in the surrounding area, close by, lies Central Park, which I can see from my window, with its trees that have already shed their leaves; I will go there, to find a little fresh air and some peace.
| Entry #12748 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.57 | 3.63 (8 ratings) | 3.50 (8 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 6 users agreed with "likes" (8 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 plethora o | Good term selection Nice alliteration! | Rob Fernley | |
+2 must have been staggeringly heavy! | Good term selection The category says it all - good term selection! | Sheila Wilson | |
-1 1 agreed to a truce | Good term selection Good phrase! | Rob Fernley | |
- 3 users entered 6 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (2 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
almost the same | Other I feel that "very similar" would have been a good deal more natural | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations No, not "another one" : it was the Rubber Company Building itself. | Rob Fernley | |
and one | Mistranslations the same one (i.e. the rubber co. one) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 broke | Grammar errors We need a perfect tense " has broken" or a present " is breaking" as the narrator is directly addressing us | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| What I am going to recount about my first night in New York will make the Americans smile; it is in fact with this aim that I am writing. I remember having read, in a fantastic book by Rudyard Kipling, about the terror of the wild Mowgli the first time he slept in a closed hut. The feeling of having a roof over his head soon became so intolerable to him that he was obliged to go and stretch out under the stars. Well this evening I almost experienced a similar anxiety attack! This time it was because of the skyscrapers, the giant letters of advertising hoardings above me, the massive red barrels on cast iron stilts; too many things going on in the air, really...it's not calm enough up there. And then the six million human beings crammed into the area; the abundance of people and excess of things stacked one on top of the other preyed on my slumber. Oh! The skyscrapers with dreamlike deformations and elongations. There is one in particular (the rubber trust one if I'm not mistaken) that towers nearby and is built of marble that must weigh so much it makes me tremble! It crushed me like a load and sometimes I would hallucinate that it was bent and crumbling... It is Sunday today and the morning is weighed down by a heavy and clammy fog. It will be one of those hot days in this season that they call "Indian summer" here. New York is sleepy like a Sunday in England and in the avenues, electric vehicles have offered respite. With nothing going on, theatres stand idle and only tomorrow will I be able to attend rehearsals for the drama that has brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, very close by, is Central Park. I can see it from my window with its trees already leafless. So I will go there to seek some fresh air and peace.
| Entry #12863 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.57 | 3.71 (7 ratings) | 3.43 (7 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (6 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
-2 +1 1 anxiety attack | Good term selection Possibly the best solution to this bit! | Rob Fernley | |
+3 excess of things stacked one on top of the other | Flows well Well-phrased. | Allison Wright (X) | |
- 4 users entered 6 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (2 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
the | Mistranslations Don't need "the" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
fantastic book | Mistranslations 'Merveilleux' refers to Rudyard Kipling, rather than to the book | Sheri P No agrees/disagrees | |
in | Omission Need something like "behind the closed doors of " to convey all the French | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
Sunday in England | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations "Respite" is ok but we need to say from what e.g. "from their usual hustle and bustle" to translate "d'animation" | Rob Fernley | |
| What I'm about to tell you about my first night in New York will make Americans smile and that's exactly why I'm writing it. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the fears of the feral child Mowgli the first time he slept in the confined space of a cabin: the sensation of a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he was forced to sleep out in the open. Well! Last night I experienced anxiety of a similar sort but for me, it was the skyscrapers, the huge letters of the advertisements above me, the large red water towers on their cast iron stilts; there were too many things in the air, really, not enough peace up there. And these six million human beings all crammed into the city, this glut of people, this excessive superimposition, weighed heavy upon my sleep. Oh, how I dreamed of those skyscrapers, distorted and stretched! One in particular (owned by a rubber corporation, if I'm not mistaken), loomed very close to me, built entirely of frighteningly heavy marble. It weighed heavy upon me too, and sometimes I saw it in a kind of hallucination, leaning and looming... It's Sunday today; morning broke in a heavy, humid haze; it's going to be one of this autumnal season's warm days that the locals call an "Indian summer". The torpor of English Sundays weighs on New York and, in the avenues, the streetcars have agreed to call a truce on their hustle and bustle. There's nothing to do, the theatres are closed and I must wait till tomorrow to attend the rehearsals of the play that brought me to America. But nearby in the neighbourhood is Central Park; I can see it through my window, with its trees whose leaves are already beginning to fall; I think I'll go there, to find some air and some peace.
| Entry #13726 — Discuss 0
Naomi Solleveld (X)যুক্তরাজ্য Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.57 | 3.75 (8 ratings) | 3.38 (8 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 8 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (4 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
crammed into the city | Flows well evocative of NYC (though I've never been there :)) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 frighteningly heavy marble | Good term selection A very good translation! | Rob Fernley | |
weighed heavy upon me too | Flows well I like the repetition: they're all part of the disturbed night's sleep | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 truce on their hustle and bustl | Good term selection Conveys exactly the meaning of the French! | Rob Fernley | |
-1 nearby in the neighbourhood | Flows well somehow avoids sounding strange - it must be the "in" that helps | Sheila Wilson | |
- 6 users entered 9 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (2 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (6 total disagrees)
towers | Other I'm not sure they would all qualify as towers - many look more like simple barrels | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 s excessive superimposition | Mistranslations Excessive superimposition: does it mean anything? | Rob Fernley | |
looming... | Other Repetition of "looming/to loom" from above | Rebecca Wallen No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 broke | Grammar errors The narrator is addressing us in real time so: either a perfect or present continuous tense is needed | Rob Fernley | |
English Sunday | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
weighs | Other we now have 3 times "weigh" and 4 times "heavy" - maybe "trop"! | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 with its trees whose leaves are already beginning to fall | Mistranslations No, the trees are already bare! | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| The story of my first night in New York will get a chuckle out of Americans, which is another good reason to put it to paper. I remember reading in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling about the terror experienced by the native Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed hut -- the sensation of feeling a roof above his head soon became so unbearable for him that he had to go outside and lie down under the stars. Well, tonight I almost suffered a similar anxiety, but this time it was skyscrapers, and gigantic letters spelling out advertising, and colossal red barrels mounted on their cast-iron stilts, all looming over me -- just too many things out in the open air and not enough tranquility above me. And on top of that, six million human beings packed in all around me, a profusion of humanity stacked to excess, oppressing my sleep. Oh, those skyscrapers! soaring in my dreams, all twisted and stretched out of shape. One in particular (that of a rubber corporation, if I’m not mistaken) shot up right beside me and was made entirely of marble; it must have been of a weight that would make the ground tremble. Surely it would crush me like some excess load; every so often it would appear to me in a hallucination, tilting and crumbling... Today is Sunday, with morning breaking through a heavy, sticky haze. It’s going to be one of those hot days of the autumn season, known here as “Indian summer”. The torpor of English Sundays hangs over New York, and in the avenues the electric cars have granted us a reprieve from the turmoil. There’s nothing to do; with the theaters closed, it won’t be until tomorrow that I’ll be able to start following play rehearsals, which is what brought me to America. But Central Park is right in the neighborhood -- I can see it through my window, its trees already without leaves. So I’ll go there to seek a little air and peace.
| Entry #13966 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.54 | 3.50 (8 ratings) | 3.57 (7 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 5 users agreed with "likes" (5 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
-3 +2 3 will get a chuckle out of Americans, which is another good reason to put it to paper | Flows well Nice idiomatic turns of phrase! | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
put it to paper | Flows well seems in keeping with the times, when they put pen to paper rather than finger to keyboard | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
looming over me | Good term selection | Gavin Jack No agrees/disagrees | |
Surely it would crush me | Flows well | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 a reprieve from the turmoil | Good term selection Excellent rendition of a difficult concept! | Rob Fernley | |
- 6 users entered 8 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (2 total agrees)
- 4 users disagreed with "dislikes" (5 total disagrees)
| Omission Mowgli was a "native" but that is not what "sauvage" means: "wild boy/ feral child" | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 enclosed | Spelling "Enclosed hut" sounds like there's a fence: "behind the closed doors of a hut" conveys the idea best | Rob Fernley | |
tonight | Mistranslations he's recounting his experience of the previous night | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 a | Spelling "A similar anxiety attack" yes; but anxiety can't have an indefinite article in front of it. | Rob Fernley | |
excess load | Other Excess load refers to freight, not something a person carries. | Gavin Jack No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| Mistranslations streetcars | Daryo | |
| What I am about to recount about my first night in New York will make Americans smile, and I am also writing this towards that end. In a book by the marvelous Rudyard Kipling, I remember having read about the savage Mowgli's horror, the first time that he slept in an enclosed hut. The sensation of having a roof over his head soon became so intolerable to him, that he was compelled to go stretch out beneath the open sky. Well, that night I practically suffered a little agony of the same sort, only it was the skyscrapers, those giant advertising letters above me, those great red barrels mounted on cast iron stilts, too many things in the air, verily, not enough calm up there. And then there were those six million human beings packed all around, that profusion of people, this outrageous superposition, which oppressed my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, deformed and elongated in a dream! One in particular (belonging to the Rubber Trust, if I'm not mistaken), that looms nearby, all in marble, which must be so heavy as to make one shudder! Merely to see it crushed me, and sometimes a hallucination showed it leaning towards me, and crumbling... Today it's Sunday. Morning comes with a heavy mist, and it's humid. It will be one of those hot days of this fall season that are called "Indian Summer." The torpor of English Sundays weighs on New York. In the avenues, the electric streetcars have agreed to a truce, and ceased their commotion. There is nothing to do; the theaters lie idle, and not until tomorrow will I be able to attend the drama rehearsals that brought me to America. Close by in my neighborhood, however, there is Central Park, which I can see through my window, with its trees having already lost their leaves, and so I go there, in search of a little air and peace. | Entry #13169 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.50 | 3.67 (6 ratings) | 3.33 (6 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
about to | Flows well much better than 'going to' somehow | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 the marvelous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "marvellous". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) | |
-3 1 suffered a little agony of the same sor | Flows well Good choice: much better than "anguish" | Rob Fernley | |
+1 agreed to a truce, and ceased their | Flows well Excellent: one of the few to link the "ceasefire" and the "bustle" | Rob Fernley | |
- 2 users entered 6 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
| Mistranslations "Savage" has very negative connotations: he was a "wild" boy but not remotely savage | Rob Fernley | |
| Inconsistencies "Verily" brings in an uncalled-for Shakespearean, even biblical element | Rob Fernley | |
+1 outrageous superposition | Mistranslations Does this mean anything? | Rob Fernley | |
+1 1 Indian Summer | Omission "Over here" missing | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| Mistranslations A future tense "I'll go there" is needed rather than the present | Rob Fernley | |
| What I am going to recount about my first night in New York will make the Americans smile; it is to that end, therefore, that I am writing it. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I recall having read of the feral Mowgli’s terror the first time he slept within a closed hut: the sensation of feeling a roof above his head soon became so intolerable to him that he was obliged to go and lie down outside under the stars. Well! On that night I almost suffered a comparable degree of anguish and it was because of the sky-scrapers, and the tall letters of the advertisements up above me, and the large red barrels mounted on their cast-iron stilts; too many things up in the air, truly, not enough calm up there. And then, those six million human beings packed in around, those teeming crowds and the excessive amount of superposition weighed heavily on my sleep. Oh! The sky-scrapers, misshapen and elongated in my dreams! One, in particular (the one of the rubber trust company if I am not mistaken), one rising up very close and all in marble that has to be of a weight to make one tremble! It crushed me like an excess load and at times some hallucination of mine showed it tilted over and crumbling. It is Sunday today; morning is breaking in a sultry, humid haze; it is going to be one of those hot days of the autumnal season that they call here “the Indian summer.” New York is labouring under the torpor of an English Sunday and, in the avenues, the electric trolley-cars have seemingly consented to a halt in the commotion. There is nothing to do, the theatres are closed and only tomorrow can I begin to follow the rehearsals of the play that has brought me to America. But close by in the neighbourhood is Central Park, which I can glimpse from my window, where the trees have already lost their leaves; and so there I shall go, to seek out a little air and some peace.
| Entry #13375 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.50 | 3.50 (6 ratings) | 3.50 (6 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (1 total agree)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "marvellous". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
comparable degree of anguish | Flows well sounds a little old-fashioned - as it should! | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 teeming crowds | Good term selection I find this portrays the feeling of being crammed in well. | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
sultry | Good term selection evocative of an Indian summer in a city | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection At last! No more anachronistic "electric cars". | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 consented to a halt in the commotion | Flows well Nicely phrased | Rob Fernley | |
- 4 users entered 7 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
+1 1 closed hut | Mistranslations What is a closed hut? One that is not open? "Behind the doors of a hut" is the best translation seen so far. | Rob Fernley | |
closed | Mistranslations Not really English: had he previously slept in an "open" hut? "Behind the doors of a hut" best conveys the idea. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations "excessive amount of superposition" is meaningless | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| What I am about to say about my first night in New York will make the Americans smile; indeed that is why I am writing it down. In a book by the great Rudyard Kipling, I recall reading about Mowgli’s terror the first time that he slept in an enclosed hut: he soon found feeling of having a roof over his head to be so unbearable that he was forced to go and lie down outside under the stars. Well, that night I almost experienced something equally disturbing in the form of skyscrapers, huge letters of advertising hoardings above me, and large red barrels mounted on their cast-iron stilts. There were too many things in the air that it really was not calm enough up there. Plus, the six million human beings crammed in and around, the profusion of people, and the outrageous system of stacking things up threatened my sleep. Oh, those deformed and stretched out skyscrapers like something from a dream! There was one particular one (that of the Rubber Trust, if I am not mistaken), which towered nearby: it was built entirely of marble, and must have weighed an impressive amount! It bore down on me like a heavy load and from time to time I would imagine it leaning and crumbling… Today is Sunday. Dawn is breaking behind a heavy and humid mist: it will be one of those hot autumn days which the people here call an ‘Indian summer’. The torpor of English Sundays hangs heavy over New York and, in the avenues, the electric cars have agreed upon a traffic truce. There is nothing to be done as the theatres have come to a standstill and not until tomorrow will I able to start rehearsing for the play which has brought me to America. In the neighbourhood, though, not far away, is Central Park, which I can see through my window with its already bare trees. So, I shall go there in search of a little air and some peace.
| Entry #13708 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.43 | 3.29 (7 ratings) | 3.57 (7 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
-2 2 I almost experienced something equally disturbing in the form of | Flows well Captures the sense very well, and sounds very natural. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
Plus | Flows well Nicely captures how "Et puis" is used here -- and flows well to boot. | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
outrageous system of stacking things up | Flows well not entirely happy with "things", but it's better than most entries! | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
Rubber Trust | Good term selection Yes! Rubber Trust was the name of a company in New York. | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
It bore down on me like a heavy load | Flows well | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
not until tomorrow will I able to start rehearsing for the play which has brought me to America. | Flows well | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 7 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (2 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
Mowgli’ | Omission "sauvage" needs to be translated, even if everyone knows the story | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 enclosed | Mistranslations An enclosed hut? Does that really mean anything:"behind the closed doors of a hut" conveys the idea best | Rob Fernley | |
+1 1 feeling | Mistranslations "Found feeling of" isn't English | Rob Fernley | |
that | Grammar errors "that" doesn't fit with "too", although it would with "so" | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
like something from a dream | Mistranslations they WERE in a dream - they were normal in reality (even if it wasn't normal in the author's experience) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| – From "Quelques aspects du vertige mondial" ["Some aspects of global vertigo"] by Pierre Loti What I am going to recount of my first night in New York will make Americans smile; and this is indeed why I am writing this. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I remember having read about wild Mowgli's horror the first time he slept in an enclosed cabin: the impression of sensing a roof above his head became so intolerable for him that he felt the need to lie out beneath the stars. Well! That night, I almost suffered a similar anxiety, and it was the skyscrapers, it was the large billboard letters above me, it was the big red barrels mounted on their cast-iron stilts; too many things in the air, really, not enough calm up there. And then, these six million human beings packed around me, this abundance of people; this excessive pile up was tormenting my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers distorted and elongated in my dreams! One in particular (the one belonging to the rubber company, if I am not mistaken), one that rises close by, one all in marble which must be of a shudder-inducing weight. It was crushing me like an excess load, and occasionally some hallucination showed it to me as leaning and crumbling… It's Sunday today; morning arrives in a heavy and damp mist; it will herald one of the warm days of this autumnal season that they call an "Indian summer" here. The torpor of English Sundays weighs over New York and, in the avenues, the electric cars have agreed to halt operations. Nothing to do, the theatres are closed and it's only tomorrow that I will be able to start following the rehearsals of the drama that has brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, very close by, is Central Park, which I see through my window, with its already leafless trees; so I'm going there, searching for a bit of air and peace.
| Entry #13376 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.43 | 3.43 (7 ratings) | 3.43 (7 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 2 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection I, and quite a few others, got this wrong. Marvellous! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 8 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (5 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
+1 1 enclosed | Omission "An enclosed cabin" sounds like one with a fence or some other kind of enclosure: what is needed is e.g. "behind the closed doors of a hut" to combine a) indoors and b) closed | Rob Fernley | |
cabin | | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
a | Grammar errors "A ...anxiety": the article does not work with "anxiety"; "similar kind of anxiety attack", e.g. works fine however. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 pile up | Mistranslations Sounds like a motorway accident | Rob Fernley | |
rises | Mistranslations too much of an action verb for a building, in this context at least | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| The tale of my first night in New York will make Americans smile - and for that reason I am writing it. I remember reading in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, of the panic felt by feral Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed hut. The sensation of having a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he felt compelled to go outside and lie down under the starry sky. Well! Last night, I almost experienced a similar kind of anxiety, and it was the skyscrapers, the enormous billboard slogans above me, the colossal red tanks perched on their cast iron stilts - really, just too many things in the air, not enough serenity above. Plus, these six million human beings crowded all around, this tsunami of people, this outrageous overlay troubled my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, distorted and elongated in my dreams! One in particular (the one belonging to the rubber company, if I am not mistaken), towering close by, completely of marble and undoubtedly alarmingly heavy! It was crushing me like a weight and sometimes I imagined that it leaned and was crumbling… Today is Sunday. The morning has opened up with a heavy damp mist. It will be one of the hot days of the fall season known here as an ‘Indian summer’. The heavy dreariness of Sundays hangs over New York, and in the avenues, the electric cars have unanimously ceased all movement. Nothing to do, the theaters are closed and only from tomorrow can I begin the drama rehearsals that have brought me to America. But in the neighborhood, I spy from my window nearby Central Park, with its trees already bare. So I will go there for a bit of fresh air and some peace and quiet. | Entry #12877 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 3.40 | 3.40 (5 ratings) | 3.40 (5 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 a similar kind of anxiet | Good term selection Much better and more accurate than e.g. " a similar small anguish"etc. | Rob Fernley | |
+1 the colossal red tanks perched on their cast iron stilts | Flows well I particularly like the use of "colossal" and "perched". | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 I spy from my window | Flows well A nice, accurate turn of phrase. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
- 3 users entered 7 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (5 total disagrees)
-1 +1 1 enclosed hut | Mistranslations "Enclosed hut" sounds like it is fenced in; "behind the doors of a hut" e.g. conveys the idea of the original in plain English | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations Aoart from its use as alliteration I don't know what "outrageous overlay" conveys. | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 me like a weight | Mistranslations "crushing me like a weight": I don't understand the simile | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 of Sundays | Omission Omission of "English". | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 electric | Spelling The Prius wasn't invented back in 1916: "streetcars" works | Rob Fernley | |
| What I am going to say about my first night in New York will make Americans smile, and that is also why I am writing this. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the terror felt by Mowgli the wild child the first time he slept in a closed hut: the impression of feeling a roof above his head soon became so unbearable that he had to go and lie down outside, beneath the stars. Well! I nearly went through a small, similar anxiety last night; for me it was the skyscrapers, it was the big advertising letters above me, it was the big red barrels up on their cast-iron stilts: too many things in the air, really, and not enough peace and quiet up there. And what’s more, those six million human beings packed in all around, this abundance of people, this excessive stacking-up oppressed my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, stretched out of shape in my dream! One in particular (the rubber corporation one, if I’m not mistaken), one looming up just nearby, all marble and no doubt heavy enough to make you shiver! It crushed me like an excess load, and at times I saw it in a hallucination, leaning and falling over. Today is Sunday; the day rises in a hot and heavy mist; it’s going to be a hot day in this autumn season which is known here as "Indian summer". The torpor of English Sundays hangs over New York and, on the avenues, the electric cars have given in and are resting from their agitation. There's nothing to do, the theatres are idle and not until tomorrow will I be able to attend rehearsals for the play which has brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, close by, is Central Park, which I can see from my window, with the leaves already gone from the trees; so I’ll go there in search of some air and a bit of peace.
| Entry #13082 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.38 | 3.25 (8 ratings) | 3.50 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
+1 the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) | |
And what’s more | Flows well nice link | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
excessive stacking-up | Flows well that works for me | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
not until tomorrow will I be able to attend rehearsals for the play which has brought me to America. | Flows well Best rendition of the entire bunch! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 9 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (3 total disagrees)
-1 +1 1 closed hut | Omission "Closed hut": as opposed to an "open" one? It needs something else to clarify the "closed" nature: e.g. "behind the closed doors of a hut" to convey the whole meaning of the French | Rob Fernley | |
| Grammar errors "a small similar anxiety": the "a" does not sound right with "anxiety"; " a similar degree of anxiety" does work, however | Rob Fernley | |
shiver | Other I don't think shiver alone is adequate: the normal meaning is "with cold" | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations What does 2like an excess load" mean? | Rob Fernley | |
day rises | Other the sun rises; I don't believe the day does | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
are resting | Omission Although "resing" is not bad the idea of calling a truce/ceasefire has been missed out | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 agitation | Mistranslations "Usual hustle and bustle" is better | Rob Fernley | |
| What I am going to say about my first night in New York will make Americans smile; it is also in that hope that I am writing it. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember having read about the horrors that feral Mowgli experienced the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: the feeling of a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he was forced to go and lie down outside under the stars. And well! I nearly experienced a similar suffering, it was the skyscrapers, it was the vast advertising letters above me, it was the big red barrels on their cast iron stilts; too many things in the air, honestly, not enough calm up there. And then these six million human beings crammed in, this wordly excess, this outrageous superimposition oppressed my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, deformed and stretched out in my dreams! One in particular (the rubber company building, I think), one which rose up very close, an entirely marble one which would weigh enough to make you shudder! It crashed down on me like an impossible weight, and now and then a hallucination would show it to me, bent over and crumpled… It is Sunday today; the morning is dawning with a heavy and muggy haze; it will be one of those hot Autumnal days that is called an “Indian summer” here. The torpor of English Sundays weighs heavily on New York and, in the avenues, electric cars have agreed a hustle and bustle truce. Nothing to do, the theatres are idle and only tomorrow can I start the drama rehearsals which have brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, there is Central Park nearby; I can see it from my window, with its branches already bare, so I will go there, in search of a bit of air and peace.
| Entry #13774 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.34 | 3.25 (8 ratings) | 3.43 (7 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 2 "like" tags
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "marvellous". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 hustle and bustle truce | Flows well One of the few translators to cope with the "truce" image. | Rob Fernley | |
- 5 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (4 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (4 total disagrees)
a | Grammar errors No "a" before suffering | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Omission No translation of when this actually happened. | Sarah Bessioud | |
one | Mistranslations repetition of "one" implies a different one | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
a hallucination would show it to me | Other doesn't sound natural | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other No capital letter is required at the beginning of autumnal. | Sarah Bessioud | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
weighs | Inconsistencies I feel that "is weighing" would have been a better choice here. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 1 , electric | Mistranslations Electric cars were not invented in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
nearby | Other neighbourhood = nearby | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| The story I am about to tell of my first night in New York will bring a smile to the faces of Americans; indeed, it is for that very reason that I am writing it. I remember reading, in a book by the marvelous Rudyard Kipling, of the savage Mowgli's horror the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: the impression of feeling a roof over his head soon became so unbearable to him that he had to go lie down under the open sky. Well, that night I nearly underwent a like distress, on account of the skyscrapers, the advertising in enormous letters above me, the great red barrels mounted on cast-iron stilts; too many things up in the air, really, insufficient calm up above. And then, those six million human beings packed in all around, this multitude of people, this outrageous overlapping, oppressed my sleep. Oh! the skyscrapers, looking skewed and stretched out as if in a dream! One in particular (the rubber trust building, if I am not mistaken), looming so close, made entirely of marble that must be of a terrifying weight! It crushed me like an overwhelming burden, and at times I envisioned it tilted and crumbling. . . . Today is Sunday; the morning dawns in a heavy, clammy fog; it will be one of those heavy days of the autumn season known here as “Indian summer.” The drowsiness of English Sundays weighs upon New York and, in the avenues, electric cars have agreed to take a break from their hustle and bustle. Nothing to do; the theaters are idle and only tomorrow will I be able to begin following the rehearsals of the play that brought me to America. But in the neighborhood close by, I can glimpse Central Park from my window, with its trees already shed of their leaves; and so I will go there, in search of a bit of air and peace.
| Entry #13313 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 3.32 | 3.14 (7 ratings) | 3.50 (6 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
the marvelous Rudyard Kipling, | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 envisioned it tilted and crumbling. | Flows well Good phrase | Rob Fernley | |
clammy | Flows well clammy is nice (though it probably wasn't really a fog, more a mist/haze) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
from their hustle and bustle | Flows well Although "take a break" does not really convey the "ceasefire/truce" image "the hustle and bustle" bit is enough to warrant the thumbs up! " | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 8 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
| Mistranslations "Savage" has very negative connotations which cannot apply to Mowgli; " wild boy" will do fine | Rob Fernley | |
n enclosed | Mistranslations "An enclosed hut" sounds like it is fenced in ; "behind the closed doors of a hut" e.g. conveys the right idea | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 underwent a like distres | Mistranslations Sounds like a literal translation, not English: "I experienced similar distress" works ok and sounds English | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations What does "outrageous overlapping " mean? | Rob Fernley | |
as if in a dream | Mistranslations They WERE in a dream; in reality they were perfectly normal! | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sunday | Spelling ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
+3 2 shed of their leaves | Inconsistencies Not sure this structure works. | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| What I am going to recount about my first night's experience in New York will make Americans smile, which is the very reason that I am writing about it. I once read a book by the talented Rudyard Kipling, in which I recall how Mowgli, the boy who had grown up in the wild, was terrorised when he spent his first night enclosed in a hut. The feeling of having a roof over his head soon became unbearable and he was forced to go outside and lie beneath the stars. Well, I almost suffered a similar minor panic last night. It was the skyscrapers, though, and the large letters of the advertisements above me, the big red barrels perched upon their cast iron legs. To tell the truth, there were too many things in the sky - too much was going on up there. And on top of this, the thought of six million citizens crammed in around me, this abundance of people, everyone piled up to high heaven, was weighing heavily on my sleep. All of a sudden, the skyscrapers became distorted, lying flat in a dream! There was one in particular (belonging to the rubber trust, if I am not mistaken) that rose up right next to me - a marble tower whose sheer mass was enough to make anybody quiver. It was crushing me like a lead weight, and every now and again a hallucination made it lean over and crumble... It is Sunday today. Daybreak brought with it a heavy, humid haze. It is going to be one of the hottest days of autumn, what they refer to here as an Indian summer. New York is weighed down by the drowsiness of an English Sunday and the electric cars in the streets have decided to give commotion a rest for a while. I am at a loss. The theatres are taking a break and I have to wait until tomorrow before I can start rehearsing on the play that brought me to America. My window, however, affords me a glimpse of nearby Central Park and its trees, already bare. I decide to go there, in search of a little fresh air and peace.
| Entry #13616 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.22 | 3.43 (7 ratings) | 3.00 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 6 users agreed with "likes" (11 total agrees)
+2 1 similar minor pani | Flows well A good translation where others used awkward-sounding expressions | Rob Fernley | |
+3 everyone piled up to high heaven | Flows well Captures the idea neatly, and in keep with the idiomatic expressions of the period, I believe. | Allison Wright (X) | |
a marble tower whose sheer mass was enough to make anybody quiver | Flows well so many of the other attempts have sounded unnatural - this doesn't | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 commotion a rest for a while | Flows well A good translation of a difficult image | Rob Fernley | |
+3 1 affords me a glimpse of nearby | Flows well A nice phrase which goes well here | Rob Fernley | |
a little fresh air | Flows well the addition of 'fresh' makes all the difference, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 12 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (12 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (8 total disagrees)
-3 +1 2 talented | Spelling Sounds condescending: not what the author intended | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations Perhaps something along the lines of 'troubled' would have been a better choice. Something to describe a sense of worry, and the tension that comes with it. 'Terrorised' seems to suggest some type of coercion | Marcus Wilson | |
| Other This is an unnecessary intrusion: not in the source text. | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 lying flat in a dream | Mistranslations Where in the original text does it state that the skyscrapers were lying flat in a dream? | Joy Lewis | |
-1 +1 1 a hallucination | Grammar errors an hallucination. | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 brought | Grammar errors A perfect tense "has brought" is required as the narrator is talking directly to us. | Rob Fernley | |
-3 1 electric | Mistranslations An anachronism: the Prius was not invented in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
I am at a loss | Other sounds incomplete to me: at a loss to know what to do | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
on | Grammar errors rehearse doesn't take a preposition | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I'm going to tell you about my first night in New York will make Americans smile but that's why I'm writing about it. In a book by the great Rudyard Kipling I remember reading about the terror felt by the feral child Mowgli the first time he slept in a enclosed space: the feeling of having a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he had to go outside and sleep under the stars. Well that night I almost felt the same anxiety! Above me were skyscrapers, enormous advertising letters and big red water tanks on their iron stilts; there were really too many things above me, it wasn't peaceful enough up there. And six million human beings crammed around me, the profusion of people, the excessive overlay of it all oppressed my sleep. Oh! My dreams were of distorted and elongated skyscrapers. One in particular (that of the Rubber Trust if I'm not mistaken), loomed close by, entirely made of marble - the mere thought of its weight made me shudder! It pressed down on me like an enormous weight, and sometimes, hallucinating, I saw it tilted and crumbling... It's Sunday today; morning rises in a heavy, muggy haze; it'll be one of those hot, fall days they call 'Indian summer' here. The torpor of English Sundays hangs over New York, and in the avenues the electric automobiles have temporarily halted their commotion. There's nothing to be done, the theaters are closed and I‘ll have to wait until tomorrow to start following rehearsals for the play that brought me to America. But Central Park lies not far away; I can even see its already leafless trees from my window; I think I'll head there in search of some peace and fresh air.
| Entry #12833 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.20 | 3.20 (5 ratings) | 3.20 (5 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
great | Good term selection I prefer this to the 'marvelous' and 'wonderful' that have been used in other translations. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
feral child | Flows well Better than "wild Mowgli" which several translators chose | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
crammed around me | Good term selection crammed suits the context well, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 the mere thought of its weight made me shudder | Flows well Good phrasing | Rob Fernley | |
| Good term selection this conveys an Indian summer, IMO | Sheila Wilson | |
- 5 users entered 9 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (4 total agrees)
- 5 users disagreed with "dislikes" (6 total disagrees)
| Other Repetition of "above me" could have been easily avoided here. | Sarah Bessioud | |
| Mistranslations This was difficult: "excessive overlay", however doesn't mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
oppressed my sleep | Mistranslations I don't believe this combination is normal; sleep is denied/lost/disrupted... | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
rises | Mistranslations the sun rises, not the morning | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-4 4 electric | Mistranslations No electric cars in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 following | Mistranslations "Attending" rather than "following" rehearsals | Rob Fernley | |
| My account of my first night in New York will make the Americans smile; in fact, it is with that objective that I am writing it. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the wild boy Mowgli’s horror the first time he slept in a closed cabin; having a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he had to lie outside, under the stars. Well! I was on the verge of having a similar little panic attack that night. It was the skyscrapers, the huge letters of the advertising above me, the big red barrels on their cast-iron stilts. There were too many things in the air, it just wasn’t calm enough up above. And then there were the six million human beings squeezed all around me, these people everywhere, this feeling of being on top of one another overshadowed my sleep. Oh! Those skyscrapers, deformed and stretched in my dreams! One in particular (the rubber trust one, if I’m not mistaken), loomed very near me, it was made of marble and its very weight would surely send shivers down your spine. It crushed me under its load and sometimes in my mind’s eye I could see it leaning over and crumbling. Today is Sunday; morning breaks in a heavy, sticky mist; it will be one of those hot autumn days known here as “Indian Summer”. New York is weighed down by the torpor of an English Sunday and in the streets, the electric cars have agreed to take a break from their bustling. There is nothing to do, the theatres are closed and I cannot begin watching the rehearsals for the play that brought me to America until tomorrow. But close by, in the neighbourhood, there is Central Park. I can see it from my window, its trees already leafless; I shall go there, to seek a little fresh air and peace.
| Entry #13363 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.19 | 3.25 (8 ratings) | 3.13 (8 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 7 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (4 total agrees)
the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "marvellous". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 it just wasn’t calm enough up above | Good term selection Nice handling of "vraiment"; the sentence flows well in English this way. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
being on top of one another | Flows well much better than most of the attempts at this difficult part | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
in my mind’s eye I could see | Flows well good solution for hallucination | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
sticky | Good term selection that works during an Indian summer | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (5 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (3 total disagrees)
My | Other Repetitive. Perhaps 'This account of my' would work? | Gavin Jack No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 the Americans | Spelling I dinged others for using the definite article here, and for consistency's sake must do the same here. But it's admittedly subjective. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
closed | Omission Also need for e.g. " behind the closed doors of ..." | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
cabin | Mistranslations The episode is from "Tiger! Tiger", where the dwelling was a hut with a thatched roof. A cabin implies a shingle or plank roof. | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
squeezed | Grammar errors they weren't squeezed, but squeezed IN | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 made of marble | Omission shame to miss out the "tout" | Sheila Wilson | |
S | Spelling Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-1 1 break from their | Omission The image of the ceasefire/truce is missing | Rob Fernley | |
+3 2 watching the rehearsals | Spelling I believe "suivre" means "attend" in this context (as an active participant in the rehearsals). | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
| The story that I have to tell of my first night in New York will draw a smile from any American – which is my reason for telling it. I remember reading, in Rudyard Kipling’s wonderful book, of the terrors felt by Mowgli of the Jungle on lying down to sleep behind the closed door of a hut for the first time: the feeling of the roof above his head soon becomes so unbearable that he must escape and lie down under the stars. That night, I was struck by something of the same fear. The skyscrapers, the tall billboards leaning over me, the great red rooftop beacons atop their cast-iron stilts: there was too much up in the air; no peace and quiet to be found up there. And what of the six million human beings piled up all around? This proliferation of people, over and above, pressed in on my attempts at sleep. Such terrible dreams of skyscrapers, twisted and sprawling! One building in particular – it belonged to an India-rubber company, if I remember rightly – towered up very close to me, a mass of marble; the very idea of its weight made me shudder. I felt the heavy load crash down upon me, and the sight of it listing and crumbling recurred in my feverish dreams. Today is Sunday. The sun rose in a close, heavy haze; it will be one of those hot autumn days – the kind of weather that, over here, they call an “Indian summer”. New York feels as sluggish as an English Sunday and, along its avenues, the electric streetcars have left off their busy shuttling. There is nothing to do; the theatres are closed and I must wait until tomorrow before I can attend the rehearsals of the play that has brought me to America. But from my window, I can see Central Park close by, the branches of its trees already bare. That is where I will go to find peace and a little air.
| Entry #14033 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.15 | 3.43 (7 ratings) | 2.86 (7 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
-2 +1 2 closed door of a hut for | Flows well Excellent; very few have managed to combine "closed" and "hut" so simply | Rob Fernley | |
something of | Flows well a very English way of saying it (not necessarily British) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
over and above | Good term selection that's much better than superimposition etc | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 listing and crumbling recurred in my feverish dream | Flows well Very well expressed | Rob Fernley | |
- 4 users entered 8 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
+2 1 wonderful book, | Mistranslations No, it's Kipling who's wonderful | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| Mistranslations sounds like a common grave - is NY that bad? :) | Sheila Wilson | |
| Mistranslations I think elongated was the idea here | Sheila Wilson | |
listing | Mistranslations I believe that's reserved for a ship leaning (not suitable for a skyscraper) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 2 feverish dreams | Mistranslations Not in original text. | Joy Lewis | |
left off | Omission the idea that it's temporary (as a truce is) has not been conveyed | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I’m about to relate concerning my first night in New York will make Americans smile. And that’s also my reason for writing. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling I remember reading of the horror of the feral Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed hut. The impression of feeling a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he was forced to go outside to lie under the stars. Well, that night I was nearly overcome by a similar slight anxiety. It was the skyscrapers, the large letter advertisements above me, the big red barrels on their cast-iron scaffolds. Too many things in the air, really not enough tranquillity up above. And then, six million human beings massed together round and about, a luxuriance of people, layer after layer without end, it all disrupted my sleep. Oh, and those skyscrapers , misshapen and ever taller in my dreams. One in particular (the Rubber Trust one, if I’m not mistaken) sprouting out of the ground close by, entirely in marble and heavy enough to make the earth tremble! It was crushing me like an excessive load, and I glimpsed it in occasional hallucinations, leaning and tottering… It’s Sunday today. The morning awakens in a heavy damp mist. It will be one of those warm days in the fall that the locals call an Indian summer. New York feels the heavy torpor of an English Sunday and in the avenues the electric cars have consented to a cease-motion truce. There’s nothing to do, the theatres are shut down and not till tomorrow will I be able to watch the play rehearsals which brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, very close by, is Central Park, visible from my window, with its already leafless trees. I’ll go there, to seek some air and some peace.
| Entry #12760 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.00 | 3.00 (7 ratings) | 3.00 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
+1 the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) | |
I was nearly overcome by | Flows well that works better than most, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
beings massed together | Flows well works for me (though it makes us sound like live bait in a bucket) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
layer after layer without end | Good term selection a human millefeuille :) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
heavy enough to make the earth tremble! | Flows well nice one, IMO! | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection A clever economic way of combining"they" and "over here" | Rob Fernley | |
- 4 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (13 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (3 total disagrees)
+1 1 enclosed | Mistranslations What is an an enclosed hut? "Behind the closed doors of a hut" does the trick. | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations Anxiety preceded by a/an does not work: "an anxiety attack" would do. | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 luxuriance | Mistranslations What does "luxuriance of people mean"? | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations Not really the right metaphor for a skyscraper:"looms large" ok? | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 1 excessive load | Mistranslations "Like an excessive load": does that mean anything? | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
+1 1 motion | Mistranslations "Cease-motion" truce: a neologism ( but not a bad one either) and so not Englisher) | Rob Fernley | |
| Other Sounds rather permanent to me - at least in British English, we wouldn't use this for normal Sunday closing | Sheila Wilson | |
| What I am about to tell you about my first night in New York would make Americans smile, and that is partly why I write. In that wonderful book by Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading of the horrors the wild Mowgli experienced the very first time he went to bed in a hut behind closed doors. The feeling of having a roof over his head soon became so intolerable to him that he simply had to go outside and stretch out under the stars. Well, I shall confess that I was close to suffering a similar affliction on that first night – I could not bear those skyscrapers, those huge advertising letters above me, those great red barrels mounted on their cast iron stilts. There were too many things in the air; too much agitation up there. Not to mention those six million other human beings crammed in all around me; this profusion of humanity; the piling up of one thing upon another to excess. All this made for an oppressive sleep. If only you could have seen the distorted, elongated skyscrapers in my dream! One in particular (the rubber trust one, if I am not mistaken) suddenly appeared very close to me; the weight of all that marble was enough to make me shudder! It was crushing me like an enormous burden and every so often, I had visions of it bending over and crumbling... It is Sunday today. The morning rises amidst a sluggish, clammy fog; it promises to be one of those hot days in this season of autumn which they call an "Indian summer" in these parts. A drowsiness typical of English Sundays hangs over New York and, in the avenues, even the electric streetcars have consented to a respite from restless movement. There is nothing to do; the theatres are shut, and I have to wait until tomorrow before I can begin to follow the rehearsals of the drama which brought me to America. But close by, in this very neighbourhood, lies Central Park. Through my window I can see its trees already shedding their leaves. I shall go there, in pursuit of fresh air and a little peace and quiet.
| Entry #13405 — Discuss 0
Allison Wright (X)পর্তুগাল Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.00 | 3.00 (5 ratings) | 3.00 (5 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 8 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (5 total agrees)
about to | Flows well so much better than 'going to' | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 suffering a similar affliction | Good term selection Just right! | Rob Fernley | |
| Good term selection Better than "it was the ..., it was the.." | Rob Fernley | |
was enough to make me shudder | Flows well nice solution | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 A drowsiness typical of | Good term selection Works well! | Rob Fernley | |
fresh air | Flows well the 'fresh' makes a lot of difference, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 1 user agreed with "dislikes" (2 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (5 total disagrees)
+1 1 I write | Mistranslations We really need an " I am writing " here, else it sounds like he writes solely to make them laugh | Rob Fernley | |
wonderful book | Mistranslations 'Merveilleux' refers to Rudyard Kipling, not to the book | Sheri P No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 1 the | Mistranslations Either " the wild boy Mowgli" or "wild Mowgli" but not "the wild Mowgli" | Rob Fernley | |
-2 2 closed doors | Mistranslations Hm. I'm not sure that the grass hut even had doors. It was the walls and roof that caused the problems. | Sarah Bessioud | |
piling up of one thing | Mistranslations "Piling up" creates an image of rubbish etc. rather than " le monde" - "people" (which wouldn't work with "piling up" either in view of 1940s Europe). | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 an oppressive sleep | Other I really don't think you can say this - it doesn't make sense | Sheila Wilson | |
If only you could have seen | Mistranslations that's rather too free a translation, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
rises | Mistranslations morning doesn't rise; it breaks, dawns, starts... | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
sheddin | Mistranslations No: we're past that stage and they are bare | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I will tell you about my first night in New York will put a smile on Americans’ faces; as will the reason I write this. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kilping, I remember having read about the horrors of wild Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: the effect of feeling a roof above his head soon became so intolerable, that it forced him to go and sleep out in the open. Well! I was nearly subjected to the same little anxiety this particular night, and the culprits were the skyscrapers, it was the large advertising letters above me, it was the massive red barrels fixed on their iron stilts, too much up there, seriously, there was not enough peace up there. And still, six million human beings are packed in nearby, this abundance of people, this extreme excess damaged my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, deformed and larger than life in my dream. One in particular (that of a rubber company, if I’m not mistaken) appeared the closest, one all in marble which must be so heavy it makes one tremble. It crashed down on me with its excess weight, and sometimes I hallucinate that it seems to be leaning and decrepid… It’s Sunday today, the morning starts out with heavy fog and feeling muggy, it will be one of those hot days in autumn that people here call an “indian summer”. Sundays in New York are slow and lethargic, just like in England, where down the avenues, the electric cars have a break from road rage. Nothing to do, the theatres empty, only tomorrow will I be able to start the drama rehearsals which led me to America. But in the neighbourhood, close by, there is Central Park, which I can see from my window, with its trees barren of leaves, I will go there then, for some fresh air and peace.
| Entry #13910 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 3.00 | 3.00 (5 ratings) | 3.00 (5 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
-1 +1 1 the culprit | Good term selection Good! Better than " it was the....." "it was the " | Rob Fernley | |
starts out | Good term selection good verb choice | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 14 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (12 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
+1 ill the reason I write thi | Mistranslations The two are the same | Rob Fernley | |
+1 1 Kilping | Spelling Kipling | Allison Wright (X) | |
enclosed | Mistranslations "An enclosed hut" sounds like there is a fence; to combine the idea of a) being indoors and b) being closed in, we need something like e.g. "behind the closed doors of a hut" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
little | Grammar errors "Same little anxiety" does not work; "same degree of anxiety" would be ok | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
up there | Other repetition of "up there" doesn't read well | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations this was during the night: past tense required | Sheila Wilson | |
i | Punctuation Capital always required for Indian | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 just like in England | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| Mistranslations Confusing. It sounds like the avenues are in England, not in NY. | Sarah Bessioud | |
-1 1 break from | Omission "Having a break from" isn't the same as "calling a truce" | Rob Fernley | |
+5 4 road rage | Mistranslations Streetcars don't really partake in road rage... | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| What I am about to tell you of my first night in New York will bring a smile to American faces; and this is precisely why I am writing it. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading of the terrors wild Mowgli felt the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: the sensation of having a roof over his head soon became so unbearable, that he was compelled to go and lie outside under the stars. Well, that night in New York, I felt a similar anxiety and it was the skyscrapers, the adverts in big letters above me, the big red barrels on their spindle legs of iron; too many things high up, really not enough quiet up there. And then the idea of six million human beings crammed around me, this proliferation of people, this exaggerated piling up were weighing on my sleep. Oh, the deformed and elongated skyscrapers of my dreams! One in particular (that of the rubber corporation, if I am not mistaken), one that sprang up very close, one all in marble that must be a terrifying weight! It was crushing me as a surplus, and sometimes in some hallucination I saw it leaning and crumbling… Today is Sunday; the day is starting with a damp heavy mist; it is going to be one of those hot days you get in the autumn which the locals call an “Indian summer”. Over New York hangs the torpor of an English Sunday and in the streets, the electric cars have agreed a truce on the agitation front. Nothing to do, the theatres are closed and only tomorrow will I be able to start rehearsals for the play which brought me to America. However, in the neighbourhood, close by, is Central Park, which I can glimpse from my window, with its trees already bare; this is where I will go for fresh air and quiet.
| Entry #13747 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.92 | 3.00 (6 ratings) | 2.83 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
sensation of having | Good term selection sensation is better than impression - sounds natural | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
the idea of six million human beings crammed around me | Flows well Yes! That sounds English! | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Good term selection A good of conveying the original | Rob Fernley | |
- 5 users entered 9 "dislike" tags
- 1 user agreed with "dislikes" (3 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
enclosed | Mistranslations "In an enclosed hut" sounds like the hut is in some kind of enclosure like a fence:what is needed is e.g. "behind the closed doors of a hut" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
, | Punctuation Comma is wrong. | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations A literal translation which means what? | Rob Fernley | |
sprang up | Mistranslations I believe we're talking of the real one here, which just WAS close | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 crushing me as a surplu | Mistranslations Lack of meaning | Rob Fernley | |
day is starting | Other Something more poetic required here | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
+1 1 agitation | Mistranslations The "truce"- bit was fine but not "agitation"; perhaps " from their usual hustle and bustle," e.g. | Rob Fernley | |
| My account of my first night in New York will make Americans smile, and of course that is why I am describing it. I remember reading in a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling about the horrors experienced by wild Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: the feeling of having a roof above his head became so intolerable to him that he was forced to go and lie outside beneath the canopy of the stars. Well, that night I suffered from a very similar anxiety, which was the sky scrapers, the great letters of advertising signs above me, the huge red barrels perched on their iron stilts; too many things in the sky, simply not enough calmness above. And then these six million human beings all around me, this proliferation of people, this excessive overlapping prevented sleep. Oh, the sky scrapers, deformed and extended in my dreams! One in particular (belonging to a rubber trust, if I’m not mistaken) towered very close by, all in marble the sheer weight of which was enough to make me tremble! Its density crushed me, and sometimes I obtained the illusion that it leaned and toppled... It is Sunday today; the dawn is breaking in a heavy, moist fog, and it will be one of those hot autumn days that they call here “Indian summer”. The torpor of English Sundays lies over New York and, in the avenues, the streetcars have come to a truce on turmoil. Nothing to do; the theatres are closed and it is only tomorrow that I shall be able to start rehearsing the drama that has brought me to America. But Central Park is quite nearby; I glimpse it from my window, with its trees already bare. It is there that I shall go to seek a little space and peace.
| Entry #12943 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.90 | 3.00 (5 ratings) | 2.80 (5 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (4 total agrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 1 canopy of the stars | Good term selection A poetic rendering which sounds just right | Rob Fernley | |
+1 the huge red barrels perched on their iron stilts | Flows well I like the use of "perched". | Allison Wright (X) | |
- 6 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 2 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
sky scrapers | Spelling One word | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
| Other This was a difficult phrase but the proposed solution simply doesn't mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "the rubber trust" (the informal name given to the monopoly created by the United States Rubber Company). | Allison Wright (X) | |
marble the | Punctuation really do need a comma here | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 obtained | Other "Obtained" an illusion? It's not English | Rob Fernley | |
fog | Mistranslations it isn't a fog, just a mist/haze... | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| Mistranslations Truce is correct; but "on turmoil" doesn't make sense | Rob Fernley | |
| The story I'm going to tell about my first New York night will make Americans smile; indeed, I wrote it with this in mind. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling I remember reading about wild boy Mowgli's terror the first time he went to bed shut up in a cabin: the feeling of having a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he had to go ouside and lie down under the beautiful stars. Well then! That night I came close to suffering a similar, small uneasiness and it was the skyscrapers, the huge characters of the advertisements above me, the big red barrels mounted on their cast iron stilts; too many things in the air really, not enough calm up there. And then these six million human beings packed into the surroundings, this abundance of people, this excessive overlaying weighed on my sleep. Oh, the nightmare skyscrapers, stretched and deformed! One in particular (the peanut corporation one, if I'm not mistaken), suddenly shot up right next to me, all in marble that must have been so heavy it makes me shudder! It was crushing me like a burden and every now and then some hallucination made it appear, leaning and tottering... Today is Sunday; morning rises in a heavy, clammy mist; it will be one of those sweltering autumn days that people here call an 'Indian summer'. An English Sunday torpor hangs over New York and in the avenues the bustling electric cars have agreed to a truce. With nothing to do, the theatres are idle and I won't be able to start following the repeats of the drama that brought me to New York until tomorrow. But in the neighbourhood, close by, I glimpse Central Park through my window with its trees already free of leaves; so I'll go there, to look for a breath of air and tranquillity. | Entry #12775 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.86 | 3.00 (7 ratings) | 2.71 (7 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (1 total agree)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
I wrote it with this in mind | Flows well very natural | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "marvellous". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) | |
| Flows well "Bustling" and "truce" together convey the right meaning | Rob Fernley | |
- 6 users entered 9 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (11 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
shut up in a cabin | Mistranslations Firstly "hut" rather than "cabin"; then "shut up in a hut" apart from the rhyme sounds weird;" behind the closed doors of a hut",e.g. would convey the idea of the original | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
under the beautiful stars | Mistranslations This is a stock phrase. "Beautiful" is always omitted in English. | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling Mowgli's feeling of claustrophobia are not " a similar small uneasiness"; nor is "a small uneasiness" English; simply " a similar degree of anxiety" would work.uld ss" | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 excessive overlaying | Mistranslations What is "an excessive overlaying"? | Rob Fernley | |
+4 1 peanut | Mistranslations The original text was caoutchouc, not cacahuète! | Sarah Bessioud | |
morning rises | Other I don't think morning rises, does it? | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
+3 2 following the repeats | Mistranslations The author played an active role in the rehearsals, as far as I am aware. | Sarah Bessioud | |
| What I’m going to tell you about my first night in New York will make Americans smile; and this is also why I’m writing these words. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the terror experienced by the wild Mowgli the first time he slept in a walled hut: the feeling of a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he felt the need to go outside and stretch out under the stars. Well then, that night I nearly suffered a bit of the same anxiety, and it was the skyscrapers, it was the colossal letters of the advertisements above me, it was the red barrels mounted on their iron stilts, too many things in the sky, really, not enough calm up there. And then these six million people packed all about, this profusion of world, this superposition of excess weighed on my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, distorted and elongated in my dreams! One in particular (the trust of rubber, if I'm not mistaken), that looms very near, one all in marble that must be of a weight to invoke shudders! It crushed me like an overabundance, and at times it appeared to me in a hallucination, sloping and crumbling… Today is Sunday; the morning rises in a heavy and clammy mist; it’s going to be one of those hot days of this fall season answering to the name, “Indian Summer” here. The torpor of English Sundays weighs on New York and in the avenues, electric cars have agreed to a brief respite in the commotion. Nothing to do, the theaters are empty and only tomorrow can I begin to follow the rehearsals of the drama that brought me to America. But just nearby is Central Park that I spy through my window with its trees already bare, so I’ll go there to look for a little fresh air and peace.
| Entry #13987 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.82 | 2.83 (6 ratings) | 2.80 (5 ratings) |
- 5 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
walled hut | Good term selection Neatly conveys the idea | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
clammy | Good term selection evocative choice (muggy is the other good one) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (6 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (3 total disagrees)
-1 1 slept | Inconsistencies No. He could not bear to sleep in the hut. He went to bed there, but did not sleep. | Allison Wright (X) | |
+2 1 world | Mistranslations Should be "people". World and people are not synonyms in English. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+1 is superposition of excess | Mistranslations Does "superposition of excess" mean anything? | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 trust of | Mistranslations US Rubber Company Building | Rob Fernley | |
+1 rushed me like an overabundance | Mistranslations Do not understand the simile | Rob Fernley | |
sloping | Mistranslations inappropriate for a building (which appears to be leaning/toppling...) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
rises | Mistranslations the sun rises, but not the morning AFAIK | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
S | Other Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-1 1 Bu | Omission Neighborhood omitted. | Joy Lewis | |
| What I am going to tell you about my first night in New York will make the Americans smile; and it's with this in mind that I am writing this. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling I remember having read about the terror of boy cub Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed space: the impression of feeling a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he was obliged to go and stretch out under the stars. Well, I almost gave in to a similar feeling of suffocation, and it was the skyscrapers, the big letters on the bill boards above me, the great casks on their stilt girders; too many things in the air, really, not enough peace above me. And then these six million human beings milling around, this abundance of people, this cumulative effect curtailed my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers I dreamed of were misshapen and ellongated! One in particular (the one from the rubber corporation if I'm not mistaken) one which loomed up so close, one all in marble which must weigh so much it frightened me! It was squashing me like a gnat and sometimes this hallucination showed it as coming towards me and collapsing... It's now Sunday today; morning is breaking in a heavy and humid mist; it will be one of those hot autumnal days that we call "Indian summer" here. The torpor of English Sundays weighs on New York and in the avenues electric cars have consented to a truce of movement. Nothing to do, these theatres are idle and only tomorrow can begin to follow the rehearsals of the drama which led me to America. But in this neighbourhod, just round the corner is Central Park. I can see it from my window with its leaves already falling. I will go there. Get some air and some peace. | Entry #12646 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.80 | 2.80 (5 ratings) | 2.80 (5 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
+1 the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 +2 2 boy cub Mowgli | Good term selection Evokes Kipling's phrasing | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
suffocation | Flows well Perhaps a little strong but this is the first translation I've seen which suggests "claustrophobia" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 casks | Good term selection Cask is literally accurate and "just sounds better" here than barrel. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
cumulative effect | Flows well a good attempt:much better than "overlay" "superposition" etc.etc. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 18 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (3 total disagrees)
| Spelling I dinged someone else for using the definite article, which I would tend to omit here. Granted, this is probably subjective, but to me it sounds better without the article. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
space | Omission "in a hut" missing | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
curtailed my sleep | Mistranslations Maybe pedantic, but this could mean "slept soundly until awoken", which is not the case here | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
ell | Spelling Only one "l" in elongated | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
one | Mistranslations repetition of "one" implies different buildings | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 squashing me like a gnat | Other This doesn't fit very well with the text overall. | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-2 1 electric | Mistranslations Electric cars not invented in 1916 | Rob Fernley | |
movemen | Spelling "Truce" is correct but "of movement" doesn't mean anything: "from their ceaseless bustle" or similar would do. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
these | Grammar errors First reference can't be with "these"; which theatres? | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
follow the rehearsals | Mistranslations I believe the literal meaning in this context is "attend". | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
neighbourhod | Spelling neighbo(u)rhoOd | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
leaves already falling | Mistranslations No: they've already turned bare | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| The anecdote I am about to recount of my first night in New York will make Americans smile, which is why I am writing it. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the terrors Mowgli the savage endured the first time he slept in a hut. The feeling of having a roof over his head soon became so unbearable that he had to go and lay down outside under the stars. Well, the slight feeling of anxiety I was close to suffering last night was somewhat similar, with the sky-scrapers, the huge advertising letters high above me, the great red tanks perched on their cast iron stilts. There really were too many things up in the air, not enough peace up there. And the six million human beings crammed in all around me, that multitude of people, those layers upon layers, oppressed my sleep. Oh! The sky-scrapers, distorted and elongated in my dreams! There was one in particular towering very close by (the Rubber Trust building, if I am not mistaken) built entirely of marble, which seemed frighteningly heavy! It was like a huge weight bearing down on me, and occasionally some hallucination caused it to tilt and crumble before my eyes... Today is Sunday. The dawn breaks heavy and damp with mist. It is going to be one of those hot autumn days they call an "Indian Summer" in these parts. The languid sleepiness of an English Sunday hangs over New York and the throngs of electric cars have deserted the avenues. There is nothing to do, the theatres are closed and I cannot start rehearsing the play which has brought me to America until tomorrow. But Central Park is not far away. I can see it from my windows, its trees already bare of leaves, so I will go there in search of a breath of air and a little peace.
| Entry #13493 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.70 | 2.80 (5 ratings) | 2.60 (5 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 4 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 crammed in all around me | Flows well sounds very natural | Sheila Wilson | |
+1 those layers upon layers | Flows well sounds very natural | Sheila Wilson | |
like a huge weight bearing down on me, | Flows well | Yvonne Gallagher No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 10 "dislike" tags
- 6 users agreed with "dislikes" (9 total agrees)
- 6 users disagreed with "dislikes" (7 total disagrees)
-2 +1 1 anecdote | Mistranslations Anecdote is an odd choice here and unjustified: an anecdote needs an entertaining twist to it; why not just "What.."? twist to it. | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations This is a bit too much in a way and suggests violence almost. | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| Grammar errors lay is a transitive verb; lie needed here | Sheila Wilson | |
sky-scrapers | Spelling One word | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-4 +1 4 electric ca | Mistranslations No electric cars back in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
| Omission this doesn't convey the idea of it being temporary | Sheila Wilson | |
Bu | Omission Neighborhood omitted. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
windows | Mistranslations only one French window; no need for more English ones | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I am going to tell of my first night in New York will bring a smile to Americans; this of course is why I tell it. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading the trepidations of the feral Mowgli the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: feeling a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he had to go out and lay under the stars. Well, last night I went through almost a similar anguish – the skyscrapers, the enormous billboards looming above me, the large red water barrels perched on their stilts of cast iron; too many things in the air, really, so much turbulence up there. And then, these six million human beings piled in all about, this swelling of humanity, hemmed in with a vengeance, tyrannized my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers distorted and elongated in a dream! One in particular (with pillars of rubber, if I am not mistaken), one that looms up so close, and one all in marble, whose sheer weight brings a shudder! They crushed me like a heavy load, and sometimes in my delirium I saw them inclining and crumbling... Today is Sunday; the dawn rises in a heavy humid mist. It will be one of those hot fall days the locals call "Indian summer". New York is heavy with the lethargy of an English Sunday, and in the avenues, electric cars have agreed a truce to their commotion. Nothing to do, the theatres sit idle and only tomorrow will I be able to start rehearsing the play which brought me to America. But in the vicinity, just next door, there is Central Park, which I behold out my window, with its already unclad trees. I will therefore go there to seek a bit of peace and quiet.
| Entry #13913 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.70 | 2.80 (5 ratings) | 2.60 (5 ratings) |
- 6 users entered 7 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (5 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
feral | Good term selection Spot on. | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 15 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (14 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
+2 1 tell | Grammar errors "am telling" works better | Rob Fernley | |
n enclosed | Omission "an enclosed hut" sounds like a hut surrounded by a fence: what we need is e.g "behind the closed doors of a hut" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
lay | Grammar errors the intransitive verb "lie" is needed here | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
a similar | Grammar errors "anguish" does not work with "a" alone; " a similar type of anguish", however, weould be fine | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Ambiguous: it might e.g. refer to the wind. | Rob Fernley | |
tyrannized my sleep | Inconsistencies that's an odd collocation, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 1 pillars of rubber | Mistranslations Makes for a nice image but there really was a company called the Rubber Trust. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
and one all in marble | Mistranslations it's the same one (not made of rubber) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
They | Mistranslations The original uses the singular, and the plural sounds very strange here | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| Mistranslations Electric cars weren't around in 1916 | Rob Fernley | |
just next door | Mistranslations it doesn't say that | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 behold | Inconsistencies "behold " is out of tune with the rest of the passage | Rob Fernley | |
| Inconsistencies "unclad" even more out of place | Rob Fernley | |
| What I am about to tell you of my first night in New York will make the Americans among you smile – indeed, this is why I am writing it! In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading of the dismay of the savage Mowgli the first time he slept in a closed hut: the sensation of having a roof over his head soon became so intolerable to him that he found himself compelled to go and lie down outside in the open. Well, that night I experienced something similar to his distress – it was the skyscrapers, the large letters on the billboards above me, the large red barrels mounted on their stilts, too many things going on high up in the air – no peace to be found. And then, six million human beings crammed in all around, this teeming of people, this endless stacking – all of them weighed heavily on my sleep. Oh, how the skyscrapers were skewed and elongated in my dreams! There was one in particular (which belonged to the rubber trust, if I’m not mistaken), which loomed very close above me, all in marble – it must weigh a terrifying amount! It crushed me like an overload, and from time to time it appeared to me in a hallucination, leaning, collapsing… Today is Sunday. Morning breaks amid a thick, damp fog – today will be one of those hot days of this autumnal season which is known as an “Indian summer” in these parts. The sleepiness of an English Sunday bears down on New York and, in the avenues, the electric automobiles have agreed a truce. There is nothing to do – the theatres have a day off and only tomorrow will I be able to commence rehearsals for the play which brought me to America. However, from my window I can see that Central Park is just around the corner, and its trees are already in leaf, so I will go there in search of a breath of fresh air and some peace.
| Entry #13247 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.66 | 2.88 (8 ratings) | 2.43 (7 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (1 total agree)
+1 1 something similar to his distress | Good term selection Yes, it works well! | Rob Fernley | |
- 5 users entered 11 "dislike" tags
- 6 users agreed with "dislikes" (18 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
+3 2 among you | Mistranslations I am not sure why you inserted this. It's not in the original text. | Sarah Bessioud | |
| Mistranslations "Dismay" isn't strong enough to convey the original | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "Savage" has very negative connotations and could not be used to describe Mowgli | Rob Fernley | |
closed | Mistranslations "Closed hut" as opposed to "open hut"? To get the idea of being both indoors and in a confined space "behind the closed doors of a hut" e.g. would work | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
large | Other Unfortunate repetition of the word 'large' could have been avoided. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations "crushed me like an overload": what does this simile mean? | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
Howeve | Mistranslations Neighborhood omitted. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
+4 2 already in leaf, | Mistranslations NO! They've already lost their leaves! | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| What I am going to tell you about my first night in New York will make Americans smile; just as well that's why I am writing it. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading how terror-stricken the savage Mowgli was the first time he slept in an enclosed hut: the feeling of a roof over his head soon became so intolerable that he was forced to go and lie down outside under the stars. Well! That night I almost suffered a similar little anxiety, and it was due to the skyscrapers, the large letters of the ads above me, it was the large red barrels mounted on their cast iron stilts; too many things up in the air, really, not enough quiet up there. And then, these six million human beings packed in like sardines, this profusion of people, this excessive overlapping oppressed my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, distorted and stretched in a dream! One in particular (the Rubber Company building, if I am not mistaken), one rises up very close-by, one is all marble, which must weigh enough to make you quake! It crushed me like an overload, and from time to time some hallucination showed it tilted and crumbling... It is Sunday today; the morning rises in a heavy and muggy fog; it will be one of the hot days of this autumnal season that they call here "the Indian summer". The torpor of English Sundays weighs over New York and, in the avenues, the electric cars have agreed to a truce of hustle and bustle. Nothing to do, the theatres stand idle and only tomorrow will I be able to start following the rehearsals of the tragedy that has brought me to America. But in the neighbourhood, Central Park is quite close-by. I can see it from my window, with its trees already losing their leaves; so I will go there and look for a little air and peace. | Entry #13739 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.65 | 2.50 (6 ratings) | 2.80 (5 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 4 "like" tags
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "wonderful". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
terror-stricken | Good term selection | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
packed in like sardines | Flows well A good simile here | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 13 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (9 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
| Mistranslations Anxiety should not have an indefinite article: a "similar attack of anxiety" would be ok. | Rob Fernley | |
of the ads | Other Expression too contemporary. Text written over one hundred years ago. | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling Sounds like a literal translation | Rob Fernley | |
one | Mistranslations repetition of "one" implies a different building | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
close-by | Punctuation No hyphen | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
one is all marble | Mistranslations This phrase conveys the sense that the entire building (referred to earlier as "one in particular") is made of marble. | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 crushed me like an overload | Mistranslations Another literal translation which doesn't mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
fog | Mistranslations it isn't a fog as such, just a mist/haze | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
| Mistranslations street car = tramways | Daryo | |
of | Spelling One of the few translations here to link "truce" and "bustle": but "of" slightly spoils things: "from" would have earned a like tag! | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Why tragedy? Surely "play" or "drama" would be right. | Rob Fernley | |
| This tale of my first night in New York will bring a smile to the faces of Americans which is the reason as well for writing it. I can recall reading about the fears of the wild Mowgli in a wonderful book by Rudyard Kipling as he goes to bed for the first time enclosed in a hut when the feeling of having a roof over his head became quickly so intolerable that it was necessary for him to lie down outside under the stars. Well I almost suffered a similar fear of the skyscrapers and the large letters of the advertisements, big red barrels mounted on iron stilts, too many things in the sky and really not enough tranquility up there. Then the six million humans packed in and around, a proliferation of people and an exuberant superposition was burdening my sleep. Oh the skyscrapers, deformed and elongated in a dream! One in particular (that of the U.S. Rubber Company building if I’m not mistaken), one which shoots up very close and all in marble of a sure weight to make one shudder. It was crushing me like an overload, occasionally displaying itself as leaning and crumbling in a hallucinatory fashion … It‘s Sunday today and the morning is breaking with a damp and heavy mist. It will be one of those warm days of the fall season which is known as an “Indian Summer” here. The torpor of English Sundays weighs down on New York and the electric cars in the Avenues have consented to respite. Nothing to do, the theatres are closed and only tomorrow will I be able to begin to watch the rehearsals of the drama which brought me to America. Still, in the neighborhood from my window I can see Central Park close by with its trees having shed their leaves already. That’s where I’ll go then, in search of peace and some air.
| Entry #13166 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 2.51 | 2.38 (8 ratings) | 2.63 (8 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (1 total agree)
- 7 users entered 17 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (14 total agrees)
- 6 users disagreed with "dislikes" (8 total disagrees)
+2 1 which is the reason as well for | Other Cumbersome expression. | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 the | Grammar errors Either "wild Mogli" or" the wild boy Mogli"; but not "the wild Mowgli" | Rob Fernley | |
+3 wonderful book by Rudyard Kipling | Mistranslations It's Kipling who's wonderful, not the book. | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
nclosed in a hu | Spelling This was a problem for many: to get the elements of being inside and closed in needs e.g. " behind the closed doors of a hut" to convey the meaning and sound English | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
became quickly so intolerable | Spelling Not a natural word order in English - non-native speaker writing? | Angela Dickson (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations What's "exuberant superposition"? | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 sure | Mistranslations "sure weight": what does that mean? | Rob Fernley | |
+2 crushing me like an overload | Spelling I do not understand this simile | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 occasionally displaying itself | Other sounds like an intermittent streaker :) certainly not a building | Sheila Wilson | |
morning is breaking | Other "day is breaking" would be fine; sounds odd with morning, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
A | Punctuation no need for a capital here | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
consented to respite | Mistranslations sounds very odd when referring to vehicles (which really don't consent to do anything - except maybe to start :)) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 respite | Omission "respite" itself is ok but we need to say from what e.g. "the normal hustle and bustle" ( i.e.the translation of "agitation") | Rob Fernley | |
| What I am going to tell about my first night in New York will make you, Americans, smile; that’s why I am writing about it. In one of the books of the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the terrors of wild Mowgli when for the first time he slept in a enclosed hut: the feeling of a roof over his head very quickly became so intolerable that he felt compelled to lay down outside under the stars. Well, I suffered almost the same sort of anxiety that night because of the skyscrapers, of the advertisements big letters above my head, of the large red barrels mounted on their iron stilts, too much in the air, really, not enough reassurance up there. And then, these six million people packed over one another, this abundance of people, this outrageous piling up was oppressing my sleep. Oh, my God! The skyscrapers distorted and elongated in my dream! One in particular (the one of the rubber trust, if I'm not mistaken), that one, appeared suddenly very close, a monster of marble that for sure weighed enough to make you shiver! It was crushing me like an overcharge, and sometimes my hallucinations were picturing it as leaning and crumbling... Today is Sunday; the morning is rising in a heavy muggy mist; it will be one of those warm days in the fall that they call here "Indian Summer." On New York weighs the torpor of English Sundays and in the avenues, the electric cars have agreed to temporarily stop their agitation. Nothing to do, theaters are closed, and it’s only tomorrow that I will begin the rehearsals of the drama that brought me to America. But, nearby, very close, there’s Central Park that I see through my window, with its trees, leafless already; so, there, I’ll go and get a little breeze and peace.
| Entry #13798 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.50 | 2.33 (6 ratings) | 2.67 (6 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 2 "like" tags
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (1 total agree)
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 17 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (4 total disagrees)
you, Americans | Grammar errors I'm sure he wasn't writing for Americans only, particularly as he was writing in French! :) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
f wild | Mistranslations "Boy" is needed with wild | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
a enclosed | Grammar errors aN enclosed (if indeed that's a good word to use) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
enclosed | Spelling "Enclosed " hut: sounds like it might have a fence: we need something like " behind the closed door of a hut" to sound right | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors Need the intransitive 'lie' here | Sheri P | |
-1 1 of | Other "becuase of ... of, ..., of" doesn't work well, IMO | Lori Cirefice | |
outrageous piling up | Mistranslations Sounds like a load of dead bodies | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 2 Oh, my God! | Other I find this a bit too colloquial and out of tune with how people would speak back at the time when the text was written. | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| Mistranslations What does "like an overcharge" mean? | Rob Fernley | |
S | Other Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-2 1 electric | Spelling No electric cars back then! | Rob Fernley | |
+1 1 agitation | Spelling Literal translation: " hustle and bustle" would be fine | Rob Fernley | |
there | Other doesn't flow very well with 'there' in that position, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
breeze | Mistranslations We don't know about wind strength, though there likely isn't much air movement with the mist | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| – from "Some Aspects of the World's Dizziness" by Pierre Loti What I am about to tell of my first night in New York will make Americans smile, which is just as well, because that’s why I am writing about it. I remember having read in a book by the marvelous Rudyard Kipling about the wild Mowgly’s fright as he spent his first night in an enclosed cabin; soon, the feel of the roof above his head got so unbearable that he felt compelled to run out and make his bed under the stars. Well, on that night I experienced to some degree an almost similar anxiety : the skyscrapers, the outsize letters of advertisements over my head, the large red barrels on their cast-iron stilts, really, too many things in the air, not enough tranquility up there. And then, those six million human beings stuffed in the surrounding space, that bustling crowd, that overwhelming layering weighed heavily on my sleep. Oh! Those skyscrapers, distorted and elongated in my dream! One in particular (if I am not mistaken, owned by a rubber concern), towered nearby, a marble mass, whose weight must be frightening! This overload was crushing me, and at times, in my hallucinations, the building seemed to lean and collapse… Today is Sunday; the morning rises through a heavy, humid fog. It’s going to be one of those warm fall days that here they call “Indian Summer”. The torpor of English Sundays is hanging over New York on whose avenues electric cars have consented to take a break from their agitation. There is nothing for me to do, the theaters are idle, and only tomorrow would I be able to watch the rehearsals of the drama that brought me to America. But as I can see from my window, the Central Park, the crowns of its trees already thinning, is very close nearby; so that’s where I will head in search of some air and peace.
| Entry #12704 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.44 | 2.44 (9 ratings) | 2.44 (9 ratings) |
- 4 users entered 4 "like" tags
the marvelous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
to some degree an almost similar anxiety | Flows well An excellent sentence:well done! | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
whose weight | Flows well neater than most (not sure about frightening though - all buildings are heavy!) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
S | Good term selection ecially when you put "drowsiness" before it. I don't see the issue here | MatthewLaSon No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 17 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (8 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
Wha | Other Disagree refers to title (unable to tag that), which was not to be included | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
the wild | Grammar errors Either "the wild boy Mogli" or "wild Mowgli"; not "the wild Mowgli" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
t overwhelming layering | Mistranslations I don't know what "overwhelming layering" means | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
morning rises | Mistranslations mornings dawn/start/...; the sun rises | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
fog | Grammar errors I doubt this is a fog; more of a mist/haze | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
S | Other Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
electric cars | Mistranslations streetcars = tramways | Daryo No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 gitation | Mistranslations "agitation" isn't right: "hustle and bustle" is what we need | Rob Fernley | |
the crowns of | Other this adds nothing, IMO | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
already thinning | Mistranslations No these "crowns" are now bare, not "thinning":why the hair analogy, anyway? | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
very close nearby | Spelling very close or nearby, but surely not both? | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I’m going to tell you about my first night in New York would make an American smile and that’s why I’ve chosen to write about it. In a wonderful book by Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading about the nightmares Mowgli had the first time he slept in a closed hut. The roof over his head oppressed him so much that it soon became so unbearable and he was obliged to go and sleep outside. Well! Last night I almost had the same nasty little experience except it was the skyscrapers, huge billboards, and the big red barrels mounted on cast iron stilts above me that I could not bear. There were just too many things in the air for me to stay calm. That and six million bodies living cramped together. The profusion of bodies and the excessive overlay weighed on my sleep making me dream of twisted and elongated skyscrapers! I remember one in particular (I believe it was the rubber trust's) loomed close to me and I saw in horror that it was made out of marble! It crushed me like a huge weigh and sometimes I would see it leaning and crumbling down... It's Sunday today. The dawn is breaking in a heavy and wet fog but it's going to be one of those hot days in the autumn season the American's call an "Indian Summer". New York is weighed down with the torpor of an English Sunday and even the electric cars in the avenues seem to have signed a truce against moving. There’s nothing to do, the theatres are all closed and I will only be able to start rehearsing the Play I came to America for tomorrow. But Central Park is not too far away as I can see its balding trees out of my window. So I think I'll go there to get some air and peace.
| Entry #13220 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.13 | 2.13 (8 ratings) | 2.13 (8 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
-1 1 bodies living cramped together | Good term selection certainly evocative, if rather crude | Sheila Wilson | |
- 7 users entered 21 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (13 total agrees)
- 5 users disagreed with "dislikes" (7 total disagrees)
| Spelling Wonderful refers to Kipling, not to the book. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
nightmares | Mistranslations Original doesn't say nightmare, and implies he didn't actually sleep | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
so unbearable and | Grammar errors so+adjective requires "that" after | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 nasty little experience | Mistranslations These choice of words seem a little rash and somewhat more colloquial, considering than the tone of the piece. Also, try to find a more precise translation of 'angoisse'. | Marcus Wilson | |
-1 1 to stay calm | Mistranslations Mistranslated | Rob Fernley | |
bodies | Other one lot of bodies is enough :) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations A difficult phrase but "excessive overlay" really doesn't mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
to me | Mistranslations Does not sound right: loomed close by would be ok. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
n horror | Mistranslations It wasn't the fact that it was made of marble but it was clearly of an enormous weight that would scare you: "in horror" is wrong. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling Proofreading should have spotted this error | Rob Fernley | |
see | Other not really adequate as a translation of "hallucination" | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
fog | Mistranslations in an Indian summer, it would be a haze/mist... rather than fog (brume rather than brouillard) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Punctuation Aie! It's a plural, not a possessive! No apostrophe, please! | Sheila Wilson | |
S | Other Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-5 4 electric | Mistranslations No: the Prius wasn 't around in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations Right idea but wrong phrasing | Rob Fernley | |
I will only be able to start rehearsing the Play I came to America for tomorrow | Grammar errors Awkward phrasing. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 Play | Grammar errors The word play does not need to be capitalized. | Joy Lewis | |
But | Omission Neighborhood omitted. | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 2 balding | Mistranslations No: "balding" is not what trees do. | Rob Fernley | |
| What I am going to tell about my first night in New York will make the Americans smile; therefore this is precisely my goal in writing it. I remember reading in one of the books from the wonderful Rudyard Kipling how much the wild Mowgli was dismayed the first time he had to sleep in a closed shack: the impression to feel a roof above his head soon became so unbearable that he had to go and lie outside under the stars. Well! That night, I came close to feel a small anguish, similar in nature, and it was the skyscrapers, it was the huge letters forming ads above my head, it was the big red casks mounted on their cast iron stilts; too many things aloft, really, not enough calm up there. And then, those six millions human beings packed in the surroundings, this abundance of people, this excessive tendency to stack things up, all that was oppressing me. Oh! The skyscrapers skewed and stretched out in my dreams. One of them was standing out (that of the rubber trust, if I am not wrong), one that looms over there, very near, one wholly made of marble, whose weight must be tremendous! It was squashing me like an excessive load, and at times I was having an hallucination in which it was tilting and crumbling… Today is Sunday; morning rises in a heavy and moist mist; it will be one of the hot days of this autumn season that locals refer to as the « Indian summer ». The torpor of English Sundays hangs over New York and in the streets, electric cars have agreed to a lull in the hustle and bustle. Nothing to be done, the theatres are idle and I won’t be able to start following the rehearsals of the drama that brought me to America until tomorrow. However, in the neighbourhood, very near, lies Central Park, that I can see from my window, with its already leafless trees; thus I shall go there and look for a bit of air and peace.
| Entry #13001 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.09 | 2.00 (6 ratings) | 2.17 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 4 "like" tags
- 3 users agreed with "likes" (3 total agrees)
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "wonderful". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
excessive tendency to stack things up | Flows well that sounds like NYC to me :) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 14 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (7 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
Kipling ho | Punctuation A comma would be well placed between "Kipling" and "how" hear, to show a break in clause. | Marcus Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
how much the wild Mowgli was dismayed | Other doesn't flow naturally, IMO: how dismayed M was | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
dismayed | Mistranslations "dismayed" is too weak for "les epouvantes" and what Mowgli felt | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Firstly we need "feeling" and not "to feel"; secondly "a" before" small anguish " doesn't work; however simply "similar anguish" would workh | Rob Fernley | |
one | Mistranslations it was the same one - this reads as though all are different | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
rises | Inconsistencies morning doesn't rise | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
to be done | Other 'to do' would sound more natural | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
a bit of | Other 'thus' and 'a bit of' in the same sentence: real problems with register | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I will tell about my first night in New York will make the American smile, and this is the very reason why I am writing it. In a book by the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember having read the frights the wild Mowgli experienced when he slept in a closed hut for the first time: the feeling of having a roof above his head soon became so unbearable that he had to go lie down out in the open. Well! I almost went through a similar small fear last night, but they were the skyscrapers, they were the large advertising letters above me, they were the large red barrels mounted on their cast iron stilts; too many things aloft, really, not enough serenity up there. And then, these six million human beings pressed nearby, this proliferation of people, this excessive superimposition oppressed my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, skewed and elongated as in a dream! One in particular (the rubber trust one if I am not wrong), one that emerges there, very close, one fully-made of marble whose weight must make one quiver! It crushed me like an overload, and sometimes, some hallucination would show it to me as if sloping and crumbling... It is Sunday today, the morning rises with a heavy and muggy mist; they will be hot days of this autumnal season which is called "the Indian summer" here. The drowsiness of English Sundays bears it weight on New York and, in the streets, electric cars have agreed to take a break from their hustle and bustle. Nothing to do, theaters are closed and only tomorrow will I be able to follow the rehearsals of the drama which brought me to America. But in the neighborhood, quite near, there is Central Park, which I see through the window with its already-leafless trees; I will therefore go there, to find some air and some peace. | Entry #13712 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.07 | 2.00 (7 ratings) | 2.14 (7 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 3 "like" tags
, not enough serenity up there | Flows well Nicely phrased | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
a break from their hustle and bustle | Flows well A good rendition! | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 16 "dislike" tags
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- 5 users disagreed with "dislikes" (5 total disagrees)
read the frights | Grammar errors read ABOUT | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 went through a similar small fear l | Mistranslations Awkward phrasing | Rob Fernley | |
| Spelling These three "they were" : I'm not sure what "they" refer to | Rob Fernley | |
+2 excessive superimposition | Mistranslations Doesn't really mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
as in a dream | Mistranslations they WERE in a dream! In real life, they were normal skyscrapers | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
one that emerges ther | Mistranslations "looms large" is what is meant | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
fully-made | Punctuation certainly doesn't work as hyphenated | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 crushed me like an overload | Mistranslations "crushed me like an overload": what does that mean? | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 1 English Sunday | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
bears it weight | Grammar errors even if 'its' was intended, this doesn't make sense | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-3 2 electric | Mistranslations No the Prius hadn't been invented in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
| The story that I am about to retell from my first night in New York, will probably make Americans smirk, which is great since that will be the aim of this piece. In a book by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling, I recall having read about the trials and tribulations of the feral child Mowgli, during his first night sleeping in a cabin. The feeling of having a roof above his head whilst sleeping, became so intolerable that he felt the need to break out into the open and sleep under the night sky. Well, I have pretty much endured the same anguish. Skyscrapers, huge billboards and water tanks mounted on metal legs above me...there was too much going on in New York, and simply not enough serenity! Then, there was the small matter of six million human beings penned in all around me like a constant swarm; like an excessive wave, disturbing my sleep. Skyscrapers warping and morphing in my dreams! One in particular- that of the Rubber Trust, if I am not mistaken- one, which loomed close by and another completely made of marble, which must have surely had a terrifying weight, bore down upon my soul. I sometimes had visions of it leaning and collapsing. Sunday arrived and the morning was thick with a muggy mist. It was one of those warm, autumnal days, that they called an "Indian Summer". New York was dreary like an English Sunday; the trolley cars sidling along the avenues, the only things offering any sign of life. The theatre doors were shut and there was nothing to do. Only from tomorrow, would I be able to reflect upon the series of events which had brought me to America. Through my window, I noticed Central Park in the vicinity; its trees having already shed their leaves. Perhaps I would find some breathing space there. | Entry #13700 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.01 | 2.13 (8 ratings) | 1.88 (8 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 7 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
the marvellous Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection One would think this is an obvious translation. Like many participants, I am kicking myself for misplacing the adjective "marvellous". Well done! | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
feral child | Flows well Much better than "the wild Mowgli" which several translators chose | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
simply not enough serenity | Flows well A nice phrase | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 +1 2 as the small matter | Flows well A good use of irony | Rob Fernley | |
morphing in my dreams | Flows well This,however, is good phrasing and exactly right. | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
trolley cars | Good term selection I believe this would be the British English (I grew up with "trolley buses" in London) | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 some breathing space there | Good term selection Finished on a high note! | Rob Fernley | |
- 4 users entered 20 "dislike" tags
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- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (3 total disagrees)
| Mistranslations Retell implies it has already been told:"tell "would have been fine | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "Smirk" has unkind connotations which are not present in the French | Rob Fernley | |
-1 +1 2 sleeping | Mistranslations This and the subsequent "sleeping" do not appear in the French | Rob Fernley | |
whilst sleeping | Other this is not in the French, in fact the opposite is implied | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 reak out | Mistranslations Although Mowgli may well have felt a prisoner "break out" is far too strong for "aller ...dehors" | Rob Fernley | |
. | Omission when? "cette nuit" has been omitted | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 going on in | Omission "Up there" was needed | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "A constant swarm": what does that mean? | Rob Fernley | |
Skyscrapers | Punctuation I see no reason for a paragraph break here - it's very much a continuation | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 warping | Grammar errors warping is a transitive verb so what exactly are the skyscrapers warping? | Rob Fernley | |
+3 1 another | Mistranslations No: not another one but it is the Rubber Company Building itself that is made of marble | Rob Fernley | |
+1 1 bore down upon my sou | Mistranslations Quite poetic but not what the French was saying | Rob Fernley | |
thick | Mistranslations inappropriate adjective for morning, IMO: heavy would work | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
called an | Omission "Over here" was missed out | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 +2 2 dreary | Mistranslations Dreary is not quite - although Sundays in England may well have been dreary in 1916: sleepy would be fine,however. | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations Missed the point of "truce" or "ceasefire" | Rob Fernley | |
+2 sidling along the avenues, the only things offering any sign of life. | Mistranslations Quite the contrary: The electric streetcars are stationary. | Allison Wright (X) | |
+3 1 reflect upon the series of event | Mistranslations Missed the reference to "attend the rehearsals of the play that brought me to America" | Rob Fernley | |
| My first night’s brush with New York City will make the Americans to smile; more so the reason why I am writing this down. I remember reading in one of the books of the wonderful Rudyard Kipling, the horrors that our wild Mowgli underwent when for the first time ever, he lay down in a closeted hut: the impact of sensing a roof overhead soon became so overbearing that he was forced to go outdoors and sprawl out in the open. Well! I just about underwent a similar anxiety, the skyscrapers, the towering advertisements overhead, the huge red water tanks mounted on cast iron stilts; a plethora of things filled the air, really, not calm enough out-there. And then, these six million humans cramped-in, this teeming world, outrageous and superposing were choking my slumber. Oh! Dreams of deformed and stretched-out skyscrapers! Especially the one very close (owned by a rubber company if I’m not mistaken), which looms out there, and fully made out of marble which must weigh a load making one shudder! It was crushing me like an overload and occasionally some hallucination would make it appear as though being inclined and crumbling… Today, it’s a Sunday; the dawn breaks out amidst a dense and dank fog; it will be one of those hot days of this autumn season which they call “Indian summer” out here. The English Sunday blues hovers over New York City, and in the avenues, the electric cars had taken a respite from the hustle and bustle. With nothing else to do, the theaters idle, only tomorrow can I begin to follow the rehearsals of the play which had beckoned me to the shores of America. But, in the neighborhood close by, there’s the Central Park with its denuded trees, which I can view through my window, for now I will be going out there, to seek a whiff of fresh air and peace. | Entry #13916 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.01 | 1.89 (9 ratings) | 2.13 (8 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 5 "like" tags
- 4 users agreed with "likes" (5 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
-1 +3 4 ight’s brush | Good term selection An unusual choice but it works! | Rob Fernley | |
the wonderful Rudyard Kipling | Good term selection | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 I just about underwent a similar anxiety | Flows well Just about works well here. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
Sunday blues | Good term selection Though not totally accurate beneath the "sleepiness" of English Sundays in days gone by there may lie the blues. So, good!e "the blues" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 respite from the hustle and bustle | Good term selection Excellent! | Rob Fernley | |
- 6 users entered 18 "dislike" tags
- 7 users agreed with "dislikes" (21 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
| Spelling The definite article is generally omitted, and should be omitted here. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+3 1 to smile | Grammar errors Omit the preposition "to" here. I can't cite the grammar rule involved here, but it has to do with how causative verbs are used in English. An example that everyone will recognize is, "The devil made me do it". | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+1 1 more so the reason why | Grammar errors that's very confused | Sheila Wilson | |
+4 1 a closeted | Mistranslations "closeted" is wrong here; "behind the closed doors of a hut"e.g. is required | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "Impact" is not right for "sensing a roof": "feeling" would be fine,however. | Rob Fernley | |
sprawl out | Mistranslations I don't think the author implied he sprawled | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
Well | Omission "Cette nuit" missing | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Punctuation no hyphen - these are two separate words | Sheila Wilson | |
| Punctuation no hyphen - two separate words (when not used as an adjective) | Sheila Wilson | |
+2 1 outrageous and superposing | Mistranslations I do not know what "outrageous superposing"means | Rob Fernley | |
+2 crushing me like an overload | Mistranslations what does that simile mean? | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations dank implies cold; fog is "brouillard" and not what you get first thing during an Indian summer | Sheila Wilson | |
-1 1 English Sunda | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
the | Grammar errors No "the" for Central Park | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
the | Syntax The definite article is not needed here. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I am going to tell you about the first night I stayed in New York is going to make any American smile, and I am going to write about it because it is so good. I remember reading, in one of the books written by that fantastic author Rudyard Kipling, about the terrors that the savage Mowgli experienced when he slept in an enclosed space for the first time: The sensation of having a roof above his head soon got so unbearable that he could not but go outside to lie down under the stars. Well, the little bit of suffering that I went through that night was almost comparable, and it was the skyscrapers, and the giant letters on the ads above my head, and the big red bottles mounted on their cast iron stilts—too much stuff up there in the air, really, and not enough peace and quiet. And then there were these six million human beings being squished together around here in this corner of the world. So much was happening at the same time I felt tortured in my sleep. Oh, the skyscrapers, stretched and twisted in my dreams! And there was this particular one (which belonged to a rubber company if I was not mistaken) which suddenly appeared very close to me, all made of marble that had to be so frighteningly heavy, and it crashed down on me as if it could no longer bear its own weight! And a few times in my dream it appeared both leaning over and crumbling down… Today is Sunday, and the morning broke amid a heavy, moist curtain of mist; it is going to be one of those hot autumn days they call the “Indian summer” here. All over New York, the slow English Sunday is being felt, and the electric streetcars on its broad streets have agreed to a truce to their busyness. There is nothing to do: The theatres are closed, and until tomorrow comes, I will not be able to start rehearsing the drama piece that I have brought to America. However, in the neighbourhood where I am staying, very close to me, is Central Park which I can see from my window, its trees already denuded of leaves. I will go there, in search of a bit of air, and some quiet peace. | Entry #13435 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 2.00 | 2.00 (6 ratings) | 2.00 (6 ratings) |
- 3 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
-3 3 much stuff up there | Flows well Just right! | Rob Fernley | |
electric streetcars | Good term selection Congrats on being one of the few to get this right! | Denise Dewey-Muno No agrees/disagrees | |
denuded of | Good term selection | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 12 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (8 total agrees)
+1 1 am going to write about it because it is so good | Mistranslations No: "that's probably why I am going to write it",e.g. is what it means | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "Savage" has very negative connotations: "wild boy" would be better | Rob Fernley | |
space | Omission "hut" missed out | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
not but go | Mistranslations Awkward phrasing | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
he little bit of | Mistranslations This is a considerable under-statement: " a similar trauma" would be closer to the French | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 2 squished together around here in this corner of the world. | Mistranslations Far too loosely translated | Rob Fernley | |
So much was happening at the same time I felt tortured | Mistranslations Mistranslated | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 slow English Sunday is being felt | Mistranslations Rather weak: the French called for a bit of poetic vision, I think | Rob Fernley | |
+1 I have brought to America | Mistranslations As I understand it, the play brought the author to America, not the other way round. | Sarah Bessioud | |
quiet peace | Other Tautology | philgoddard No agrees/disagrees | |
| The story that I am going to tell about my first night in New York, as well as the purpose for which I am writing it, will make Americans smile. In a book written by the amazing Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading the terrors of the wild Mowgli when he slept for the first time in an enclosed hut. The thought of having the roof over his head soon became so intolerable to him that he was forced to go outside and lie down in the open. Well, I have almost undergone a bit of a similar anguish this night, and it was the skyscrapers, adverts in bold letters above me, the big red barrels fixed on their melting stilts; there are too many things up in the air. Really, it is noisy up there. Then these six million human beings crammed around, this teeming crowd, this excessive superimposition stifling my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, deformed and tapering! One in particular (the rubber company’s, if I am not mistaken), the one standing there, very near, the one in marble, which must be heavy enough to make one tremble! It crushed me like a heavy load, and sometimes some hallucination made me see it tilting and crumbling...... Today is Sunday. The morning is heavily misty and muggy. It is going to be one of the hot autumnal days called “The Indian Summer” here. Drowsiness characteristic of the English Sundays weighs on New York, and in the avenues, the electric cars have agreed to suspend their bustle. It is no use! The theatres are idle, and it is only tomorrow that I can start going for the rehearsals of the drama which brought me to America. But the Central Park, which I can see from my window, is very near in the neighborhood with the leaves of its trees already shed. I will, therefore, go there for a little amount of air and peace.
| Entry #12754 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 1.93 | 1.71 (7 ratings) | 2.14 (7 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
muggy | Good term selection Good for an Indian summer day in a city | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
- 4 users entered 16 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (11 total agrees)
- 7 users disagreed with "dislikes" (7 total disagrees)
| Mistranslations It sounds as if the story and the purpose are two different matters when,of course, they are bthe same thing | Rob Fernley | |
n enclosed | Mistranslations It sounds like the hut was in an enclosure | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
a bit of | Other too informal a register | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
similar anguish | Mistranslations Awkwardly phrased | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
this night | Other that sounds like a blog, written at 7am next morning | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 2 melting | Mistranslations The translator clearly thought that "de fonte" had something to do with "fondre" to melt - well it does but here it means "cast-iron" | Rob Fernley | |
+1 excessive superimposition | Mistranslations This was difficult but "excessive superimposition" is meaningless | Rob Fernley | |
tapering | Mistranslations doesn't convey the same 'oddness' - many skyscrapers are in fact tapering | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
S | Other Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-2 2 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
-5 4 electric | Mistranslations Electric cars were not available in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
their bustl | Mistranslations The translator failed to find a way to incorporate the idea of a ceasefire | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 no use | Mistranslations "Nothing to do" would surely be fine? | Rob Fernley | |
| Grammar errors No "the" required for Central Park | Rob Fernley | |
neighborhood | Spelling Those who write 'theatre', normally write 'neighbourhood' - even Canadians, I believe | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I will tell about my first night in New York will have Americans smile; then again, this is the reason why I do it. I remember reading in a book from the marvellous Rudyard Kipling about the fears of the savage Mowgli when he first slept in a closed cot – the feeling of a ceiling above his head soon became so intolerable that he was force to make his bed outside, under the friendly stars. Well, that night I experienced a similar, small anguish, and it was the skyscrapers, it was the huge advertisement signs, it was the large red water reservoirs perched on their poles: too many things in the air really, and not enough quietness up there. And then, those six million human beings packed all around, that superabundance of worlds, that utmost superposition oppresses my sleep. Oh! The skyscrapers, stretched and warped in my dream! One particularly (that of the rubber companies, if I remember well), looming very close there, all made of marble, must have a weight to give you shivers! It crushed me like a boulder, and sometimes in some hallucination showed it appeared to me tilted and crumbling down... It’s Sunday, and the morning rises from within a heavy and humid mist. It will be one of those warm days of the autumn season known as “Indian summer”. New York City is burdened by the torpor of English Sundays and along the avenues even streetcars allowed a truce in their agitation. Nothing done, theatres are out of work and tomorrow only I will be able to start following the repetitions of the drama that led me to America. Anyway, there is Central Park in the vicinity, just around the corner, I can see it from my window, and that is where I will seek some air and some peace. | Entry #12931 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 1.88 | 1.75 (8 ratings) | 2.00 (8 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
streetcars | Good term selection | Daryo No agrees/disagrees | |
- 5 users entered 18 "dislike" tags
- 4 users agreed with "dislikes" (15 total agrees)
- 3 users disagreed with "dislikes" (4 total disagrees)
| Grammar errors The present continuous "am doing " is required here: "I do it" implies it is a regular occurrence | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations This is not what the original text says | Sarah Bessioud | |
-1 1 o make his bed | Mistranslations nothing about "his bed" in the original | Rob Fernley | |
friendly | Mistranslations friendly doesn't work here; familiar would be better, if you really wanted an adjective | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
small anguish | Mistranslations Awkward and un-English sounding | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 superabundance of worlds, that utmost superposition oppresses | Spelling Sounds translated and very un-English | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 howed it appeared | Mistranslations Does not make sense | Rob Fernley | |
rises | Mistranslations the sun rises, but not mornings AFAIK | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
known | Omission "Over here" missed out | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
in their agitation | Spelling "Truce " was right but "agitation" should be e.g. " from their bustle" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors "Theatres" can't be " out of work" only the people can: " stand idle " would be ok | Rob Fernley | |
| Spelling "not until tomorrow" is what the French says | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations The French word means "rehearsals" not repetitions | Rob Fernley | |
| What I'm gonna tell about my first night in New-York will make American people smile. It is, thus, the reason why I'm writing it. In a book by wonderful Rudyard Kipling, I remember reading wild Mowgli's awes on the first time when he slept in a roofed cabin : the feeling of a roof above his head soon became so unbearable that he had to lie out in the open. Well ! I almost underwent a similar anguish last night, and because of skyscrapers, big ad letters above me, huge stilt-perched, cast-ironed red barrels, too many things in the air, indeed, and a lack of quietness up there. Besides, those six million human beings crammed around, that plethora of people, that excessive superimposing barred me from sleeping soundly. Oh ! Those skyscrapers, distorted and stretched out in my nightmare ! Especially one of them (the gum trust one, if I'm not mistaken), another sticking out nearby, an all-marbled one which must be frighteningly heavy ! It would crush me, the way an overweight does, and, sometimes, it would look as though it was bent and bound to collapse... Today is Sunday, the morning is emerging through a thick and damp mist, one of the hot days in this Fall season, also known as "Indian summer", will take place. New-York is as drowsy as English Sundays and, in the avenues, electric cars'owners have agreed on an interruption of bustle. Nobody can help it, in theatres it's a day off and not until tomorrow shall I be able to attend the rehearsals of the drama that brought me to America. Yet in the neighbourhood, nearby, lies Central Park, which I can spot from my window, tree-leafless already. There I shall go, thus, in search of a breath of fresh air and of a little peace. | Entry #12518 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 1.86 | 2.00 (7 ratings) | 1.71 (7 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 2 "like" tags
plethora of people | Flows well a nice alternative to "proliferation of people" | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
attend | Good term selection Yes! | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 20 "dislike" tags
- 8 users agreed with "dislikes" (39 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (1 total disagree)
+7 1 gonna | Spelling Slang doesn't fit the style here. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+5 1 awes | Mistranslations Awe is singular, and in any case not the correct term. Awe implies a mixture of fear and reverence. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
| Spelling "anguish" does not require the indefinite article; "a similar anxiety attack" works fine, however | Rob Fernley | |
| Spelling I don't believe this would have been used at this time, and the register is not suitable | Sheila Wilson | |
| Spelling I believe "cast ironed" is acceptable though unusual, but "cast-iron" is the normal term | Sheila Wilson | |
+3 excessive superimposing | Mistranslations What precisely is "excessive superimposing"? | Rob Fernley | |
+4 2 gum | Spelling Should be "rubber". There really was a company called the "Rubber Trust". | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+3 1 another stickin | Mistranslations No not another, the same one i.e. The US Rubber Company Building | Rob Fernley | |
Fall | Punctuation no capital required | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
Fall | Mistranslations "theatre" and "neighbourhood" imply British English; "fall" here isn't | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 will take place | Mistranslations "It will be" would be correct. Placing "will take place" at the end of the sentence does not sound natural either. Indian summers normally last several days, sometimes several weeks. | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
electric | Mistranslations Electric cars is an anachronism in 1916 | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations "interruption to their bustle" isn't bad but " a ceasefire/truce" from their bustle would preserve the imagery of the nsource text | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 tree | Grammar errors "Trees already bare" will do fine | Rob Fernley | |
thus | Mistranslations "So, I shall go there" is the sense. "thus" as you have used it here would imply, "I shall go tree-leafless". (Tree-leafless is not a good expression.) | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I am about to tell you about my first night in New York will be sure to make Americans laugh, hence why I am writing this. I remember reading, in one of the books of the marvellous writer, Rudyard Kipling, the horror stories of the primitive fictional character of Mowgli, when he slept for the first time in a hut only to experience cabin fever; he couldn't bear to be closed in, so much so, that he resorted to sleeping under the stars. I know exactly how he felt. I experienced a similar feeling on this very night that I am going to describe with the skyscrapers, the large neon-lit advertising above me, the huge red water tanks propped up on the letter stilts. There was so much commotion, there was no chance of any peace up there. Six million people packed in like sardines. This chaos, this plethora, gave me nightmares. I dreamt of distorted, protracted skyscrapers. I remember one in particular which stood tall right next to me (the rubber corporation skyscraper really had me fooled), made completely of marble - its weight alone was enough to make you quake in your boots! It terrified me and, at times, I even imagined it to be slanted, about to tumble over... Today is Sunday; the day began with a heavy and shimmering mist; it is going to be one of those hot summer days which in autumn, are refereed to here as an "Indian summer". The slow pace typical of English Sundays weighs heavy on New York, and on the roads, the electric cars are the only things which demonstrate signs of life. There is nothing to do, the theatres are closed and I will have to wait until tomorrow before I can follow up the accounts of the incident, the very reason I came to America. However, Central Park is close by, which I am able to glimpse from my window, with its already leafless tress; I'll go there to get some fresh air and peace and quiet.
| Entry #12832 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 1.82 | 2.00 (7 ratings) | 1.63 (8 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 1 user agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
+1 he resorted to sleeping under the stars | Flows well Good phraseology. | Allison Wright (X) | |
ike sardine | Good term selection good simile | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 slow pace typical of English Sundays weighs heavy | Good term selection Nice style | Rob Fernley | |
- 8 users entered 21 "dislike" tags
- 7 users agreed with "dislikes" (18 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
hence why | Grammar errors which is why... OR hence | Marian Vieyra No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 e horror stories | Mistranslations Sounds like Mowgli had a series of "shock/ horror stories" rather than a night of claustrophobia; | Rob Fernley | |
+2 1 primitive fictional character | Mistranslations "Primitive" is not what Mowgli is; he was a wild boy; and why add fictional? | Rob Fernley | |
slept | Inconsistencies No. He did not sleep there. He could not bear to sleep there, and went to sleep outside. | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
in a | Omission Missing and necessary is something like "behind the closed doors of" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 1 cabin fever | MistranslationsCabin fever results from spending too much time indoors over the course of a long winter. That's out of context here. Mowgli's reaction occurred very quickly, due to a feeling that the hut looked like a panther trap.Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabin_fever | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
o be closed in | Omission Nothing about the roof over his head | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 I am going to describe | Spelling Why GOING to describe? He IS describing it. | Sarah Bessioud | |
+2 1 letter | Mistranslations "Letter stilts": "de fonte" = cast iron | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations "Protracted" does not work here with skyscrapers; it means drawn out in the sense of something lasting for ages | Rob Fernley | |
| Mistranslations All skyscrapers "stand tall"; this one " looms large" | Rob Fernley | |
the rubber corporation skyscraper | Mistranslations Repetition of skyscraper unnecessary. "The rubber trust one" will do. | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations "Really had me fooled": where did that come from? "Si je ne m'abuse pas"= "If I'm not mistaken" | Rob Fernley | |
slanted | Other odd choice here; slanting would be better, but it really should be tilting/leaning... | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 began | Grammar errors The narrator is addressing us in real time: so we need either a present continuous " is breaking" or a perfect " has broken" | Rob Fernley | |
hot summer days which in autumn | Other a summer day in autumn? | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
English Sundays | Spelling | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
cars | Mistranslations Given the apparent time period, these would be electric streetcars. It's been a long time since the New York metropolitan area only had 6 million people. | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 e only things which demonstrate signs of life | Mistranslations "have declared a temporary ceasefire from their hustle and bustle" | Rob Fernley | |
+6 2 I can follow up the accounts of the incident | Mistranslations | Daryo | |
| The description I am going to give of my first night in New York will amuse the Americans; that is exactly why I am going to describe it. I remember reading in Rudyard Kipling’s splendid book about the terrors of the wild Mowgli the first time he slept in a cave: the sensation of feeling a roof above his head became so intolerable that he was forced to go outside to lie down beneath the lovely stars. Well! That night, I nearly suffered the same small anguish, and it was the skyscrapers, the adverts in large letters above me, the large red barrels mounted on stilts; too many things above me, truly, and not enough stillness up there. And then, those six million people packed together, this profusion of humanity, this excessive superposition oppressed my sleep. Oh! Those skyscrapers twisted and elongated in my dreams! One in particular (the one made of rubber, if I am not mistaken), one that cropped up very close, the one in marble whose weight would make you tremble! It crushed me like an overload, and, several times in my dreams, appeared inclined and toppling….. It is Sunday today; the morning began with a heavy mist; it will be one of those warm days of autumn known as “Indian Summer”. New York has the heaviness of the torpor of English Sundays, and in the avenues, the electric cars have relieved the turbulence. Nothing to be done, the theatres are closed and it is only tomorrow that I will be able to attend the drama rehearsals that brought me to America. But, close by, in the neighbourhood, there is Central Park which I can see from my window, with its trees already with leaves; I will therefore go there, to find some air and peace.
| Entry #12622 — Discuss 0
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Entry | 1.80 | 1.88 (8 ratings) | 1.71 (7 ratings) |
- 1 user entered 1 "like" tag
profusion of humanity | Good term selection | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
- 6 users entered 19 "dislike" tags
- 7 users agreed with "dislikes" (24 total agrees)
- 4 users disagreed with "dislikes" (4 total disagrees)
| Mistranslations Why "the"? It's not necessary nor intended by the source | Rob Fernley | |
+4 1 Rudyard Kipling’s splendid book | Mistranslations It's Kipling who's splendid, not the book. | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| Mistranslations a "cabane" is a man-made structure | Sheila Wilson | |
lovely | Mistranslations 'a la belle etoile' is an idiomatic expression corresponding to our idiom 'under the stars' (not 'lovely stars') | Gavin Jack No agrees/disagrees | |
small anguish | Spelling It doesn't sound English | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+2 excessive superposition | Mistranslations "Excessive superposition": what is that? | Rob Fernley | |
+6 3 (the one made of rubber | Mistranslations No, it's a rubber company residing in the building! | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
| Other Like an overload doesn't mean anything | Rob Fernley | |
.. | Punctuation two full-stops/periods | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
S | Other Summer should not begin with a capital. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
-4 +1 4 electric cars | Mistranslations Electric cars were not invented in 1916! | Rob Fernley | |
+3 relieved the turbulence | Mistranslations The French refers to a "ceasefire" or "truce": "relieved the turbulence" is just wrong | Rob Fernley | |
to be done | Other this implies lack of alternative, rather than boredom; inappropriate here | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
+3 3 already with leaves | Mistranslations No! They've lost their leaves! | Denise Dewey-Muno | |
I will therefore go there, | Syntax clumsy, stilted | Yvonne Gallagher No agrees/disagrees | |
| What I am going to tell about my first night in New York will bring smile to the Americans; and that is why I am writing this. In a book by the great Rudyard Kipling, I remember having read the horrors of the wild Mowgli when he slept in a close cabin for the first time: the impression to feel a roof above his head soon became so intolerable that he was compelled to rest outside under the stars. Oh well! I had suffered almost the same anxiety that night, and those were the skyscrapers, those were the scripts advertised above me, those were the large red barrels mounted on your cast iron stilts, so much actually happening around, not enough quietness up there. And then, these six million human beings packed around, swelling of the world, this merciless imposition oppressed my sleep. Oh! The sky-scrapers, distorted and stretched in dreams! One in particular (that is rubber based, I believe), one which looms very close, one which is entirely in marble which must be of a shuddering weight! It crushed me as an overload, and sometimes in hallucination I saw it tilted and collapsing.... Today is Sunday; the morning rising in a heavy and moist fog; it will be one of the cold days of this autumn season which we call here “the Indian Summer”. On New York the numbness of the English Sundays weighs down and, in the avenues, the electric vehicles have consented to a truce of restlessness. Nothing to do, the empty theaters and only tomorrow can I begin to follow the repetitions of the drama which has brought me to America. However, in the neighborhood within close proximity, there is Central Park, which I see out my window, with its trees already without leaves; so I will go there to look for some air and peace.
| Entry #13843 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.22 | 1.33 (9 ratings) | 1.11 (9 ratings) |
- 7 users entered 17 "dislike" tags
- 3 users agreed with "dislikes" (21 total agrees)
- 1 user disagreed with "dislikes" (2 total disagrees)
| Grammar errors Should be "bring smiles" or "bring a smile" | Jenn Mercer | |
-1 +1 1 wild | Mistranslations Either "The wild boy Mowgli" or "wild Mowgli"; not "the wild Mowgli" | Rob Fernley | |
| Spelling "Behind the closed doors of a cabin" is right | Rob Fernley | |
impression to feel | Grammar errors impression + of + "-ing" form | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations their | Allison Wright (X) | |
+1 rushed me as an overload | Mistranslations Literal translation | Rob Fernley | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations ‘Dimanche Anglais’ is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
+2 1 follow the repetitions | Mistranslations "attend the rehearsals" | Rob Fernley | |
| Today I will tell about my first night in New York that will make the Americans smile; keeping this goal in the mind I am writing it for all. From a book by marvelous Rudyard Kipling, I remember having read the horrors of the wild Mowgli when the first time he slept in a closed hut: the feeling to have a roof above his head soon became so intolerable for him, then it became very necessary for him to go out under the beautiful stars to rest. Oh well! I have almost suffered that night in a similar small fear, and these were the sky scratchers, these were the large letters claiming above me, these were the big red tanks mounted on their iron stilts; too many things were in the air, truly, the enough calm was not there. And then, these six millions of human beings pressed around, the expansion of the world, this high level of overlapping were oppressing my sleep. Oh! These skyscrapers distorted and extended in the dream! An in particular (the one of the rubbers trust, If I'm not mistaken), a person that appears there closely, everything in marble that should be having a weight to make it simmer! It was crushing me as an overload, and sometimes some mind-expansion showed it to me inclined and crumbling... It is Sunday today; the sun is rising in a heavy and moist haze; it will be one of the hot days of this autumnal season, which we used to call here "the Indian summer". In New York the drowsiness is influenced from the English Sundays and, in the avenues, the electric vehicles have consented an agitation truce. Nothing to do, the theaters are idle and tomorrow only I could start doing the rehearsals of the drama that brought me in America. But in the neighbors, very near, there is a Central Park, which I realize by my room window, with its trees without leaves; hence I am going there, in search of some air and peace.
| Entry #13241 — Discuss 0
Rating type | Overall | Quality | Accuracy |
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Entry | 1.07 | 1.00 (9 ratings) | 1.13 (8 ratings) |
- 2 users entered 3 "like" tags
- 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
+1 1 hu | Flows well Yes, hut is the same word as Kipling used. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
haze | Good term selection Nicely chosen. Haze is consistent with a day that starts off hot and will only get hotter. Alternatives like "mist" and "fog" are more commonly associate with a chill in the air. | Matthew Fisher (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
- 7 users entered 40 "dislike" tags
- 5 users agreed with "dislikes" (28 total agrees)
- 2 users disagreed with "dislikes" (4 total disagrees)
+3 1 the Americans | Spelling I dinged someone else for using the definite article, which I would tend to omit here. Granted, this is probably subjective, but to me it sounds better without the article. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
| Spelling Definitely omit "the" here. To "keep something in mind" is a fixed expression, where the article is omitted. Granted, Shakespeare did write "whether 'tis nobler in the mind" in Romeo and Juliet, but that's a different expression and not relevant here. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+2 I am writing it for all | Mistranslations "Keeping this goal in mind .....for all" is a mistranslation of the whole sentence; he's just saying that maybe that's why he's telling his story i.e to make Americans smile | Rob Fernley | |
+1 by marvelous Rudyard Kipling | Grammar errors "by the marvellous Rudyard Kipling". English needs the definite article before "marvellous" here. | Allison Wright (X) | |
| Mistranslations In English, this expression refers to the horror induced by something. Such as the horrors of war. Mowgli is experiencing rather than inducing horror. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
-1 1 wild | Grammar errors Either; "the wild boy Mowgli" or "wild Mowgli": not "the wild Mowgli" | Rob Fernley | |
when | Grammar errors | Joy Lewis No agrees/disagrees | |
close | Omission "A closed hut" as opposed to "an open hut"; to get the right combined idea we need e.g. "behind the closed of a hut" | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Syntax Sounds unnatural. The feeling of having would be better. | Sarah Bessioud | |
became | Omission "Soon" missing | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors Just as something is either unique or it is not, so something is either necessary or unnecessary. You cannot intensify "necessary" with "very". | Allison Wright (X) | |
under the beautiful stars | Mistranslations Stock phrase, with a stock translation: "under the stars". | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Grammar errors Wrong tense: we need the simple past "I almost suffered" in English | Rob Fernley | |
suffered that night in | Grammar errors Not idiomatic English. The only thing we normally suffer "in" is silence. | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
small fea | Grammar errors Something like " a similarly harrowing experience" would do | Rob Fernley No agrees/disagrees | |
+1 1 and these | Mistranslations Rather than "these were" an idea like "what with" sounds better | Rob Fernley | |
scr | Mistranslations literal translation - scrapers in English | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations The source text verb here is derived from la réclame/publicité -> advertising, and not from la réclamation -> claim. | Allison Wright (X) | |
-1 1 these were | Mistranslations Second repetition of a mistranslation. "It was the skyscrapers, the... letters, the big red tanks..." would be the more usual construction. "What with the..., the..., the..." is another effective rendition. | Allison Wright (X) | |
+2 1 the enough calm was not there | Syntax 1) The definite article must be omitted here. The author is referring to calm in general, and not to some particular calm. 2) The word "not" refers to "not enough", as in "too little". 3) The expression "la-haut" means "up there". | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
+1 six millions of human beings | Grammar errors "six million human beings". "of" is only used when the hundreds/thousands/millions is not a specific number, e.g. millions of human beings; hundreds of apples; thousands and thousands of words. | Allison Wright (X) | |
| Mistranslations This doesn't sound like English - around what? | Sarah Bessioud | |
this high level of overlapping were oppressing my sleep. | Grammar errors Subject-verb disagreement. Should be "this high level... was..." | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
An | Spelling "And" or "One"? | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Spelling In US English, the plural "rubbers" means condoms. However, I believe this text predates the invention of the latex condom in 1929. Presumably the Rubber Trust dealt in rubber, the industrial raw material -- which is (almost) always singular. | Matthew Fisher (X) | |
If | Punctuation no capital after comma | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations The author is talking about the tower, not a person. | Sarah Bessioud | |
a weight to make it simmer | Mistranslations This makes no sense. Reference to a pressure cooker? | Sheila Wilson No agrees/disagrees | |
as an overload | Mistranslations 1. "like", not "as". 2. What is an overload? | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
mind-expansion | Mistranslations Not all mind expansion is hallucinatory. No hyphen required. | Allison Wright (X) No agrees/disagrees | |
| Mistranslations Use of the past tense is incorrect. They still call it the Indian summer. | Sarah Bessioud | |
influenced from the English Sundays | Mistranslations | Denise Dewey-Muno No agrees/disagrees | |
-1 1 English Sundays | Mistranslations Dimanche Anglais is a set French expression which just means a boring, gloomy Sunday. In the English-speaking world the expression ‘English Sunday’ in and of itself does not universally connote such. | Joy Lewis | |
in | Syntax Wrong preposition. He was brought TO America. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
neighbors | Spelling Neighborhood, yes, but not neighbors. | Sarah Bessioud No agrees/disagrees | |
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