The problem of being awkward with introductions is not, for many, an “unusual situation.” You may find that you are often uncertain about whether to introduce someone using their first name, last name, or both; about whether to use a qualifier (“this is my friend, ______”); even about whether or not it is in fact your responsibility to introduce two people in a given situation. But all of this is small potatoes compared with the seemingly inevitable mingling nightmare of having to introduce someone whose name you have forgotten.
It’s one thing to forget someone’s name if you’ve met them only once or twice, or if you haven’t seen them in a while. But all too often it’s someone whose name you really should know, and who is going to be insulted to find out you don’t. In other words, a faux pas in the making.
This is absolute agony when it happens, and I’ve watched hundreds of minglers try to deal with different ways, ranging from exuberant apology (“Oh GOD, I’m so sorry, JEEZ, wow, I can’t believe I’ve forgotten your name!”) to throwing up their hands and walking away. But there are better ways to deal with this kind of mental slip. Next time you draw a blank while making introductions, try the following ploy:
Force them to introduce themselves. This is the smoothest and most effective way to handle your memory lapse. When it’s done well, no one will ever suspect you. If you have forgotten one person’s name in the group, turn to that person first and smile. Then turn invitingly to a person whose name you do remember and say, “This is Linden Bond,” turning back casually toward the forgotten person. The person whose name you haven’t mentioned yet will automatically (it’s a reflex) say “Nice to meet you, Linden, I’m Sylvia Cooper,” and usually offer a hand to shake. | 对于许多人来说,在引见他人时劣手苯脚并不是什么罕见之事。你经常会拿不定主意,是要用被介绍人的姓,名还是全称;是否要形容一下(这是我的朋友。。。);你甚至还会拿不定主意,在某种特定场合下,你是否应该给两人做引见。然而, 所有以上这些,和你避免不了头脑的一时糊涂,必须要介绍某人却忘记这人名字的情况比较起来,都可以说是小巫见大巫。
如果你只见过这人一两次,或很久没有见面,那么忘记这人的名字还说得过去。偏偏最经常发生的情形却是这人的名字你真应该记住,而记不住则会使这人感到失了面子。换而言之,你就是要失礼了。
这种事情一旦发生,绝对让人苦恼。我见过无数的这种一时健忘之人试着用不同的方式来进行补救:从连声的道歉(哎呀天呀,太对不起了,哎,怎么,我怎么会可能忘记你的名字了呢!)到无可奈何的举手投降自己走开。其实, 对付这一时的健忘有更好的办法。下一次你在做引见却头脑空白之时,试一下以下妙计:
让他们自己介绍自己。这是对付失忆的最滑头,也是最有效的办法。如果做的轻松自然,那么谁也不会产生丝毫疑心。如果你忘记了这群人中某人的名字,那么先转向那人并且笑一下。然后友好地转向你记得名字的人说,“这是某某某某”,接着再漫不经心地转向你忘记名字的人。你还没有提到名字的人通常都会自动回答(这是条件反射),“很高兴认识你,某某某,我是某某某”,通常还会伸出手来握手。
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